What does palm up mean when shaking hands. Handshake as a hidden sexual act or the psychology of friendship. Handshake with bent arm

A handshake between two people can really be much more truthful and informative - even thousands of words.

The habit of shaking hands as a gesture of greeting is present in almost all cultures. But if in ancient times the greeting ritual of different nations could differ significantly, now, in the era of globalization of any processes, including cultural ones, we have received a universal and fairly standard way to greet another person - a handshake.

But only at first glance - this simple action is typical and does not contain any individuality. In fact, there are a lot of handshake options. And depending on the situation, attitude to the interlocutor and the nature of the situation, each of us chooses one way or another to shake hands with another person.

Based on the characteristics of the greeting, one can draw conclusions about how people who greet each other actually relate to each other, what emotions they experience, what they intend to do. Many of these hidden signals are unknown not only to outside observers, but also to the participants in the greeting ritual.

And now we will look at all types and characteristics of handshakes, which can be very useful in life - and when you are trying to understand who is in charge among politicians, how your colleagues, boss or relatives treat you.

Hand position during a handshake

First of all, it is worth starting with the position of the hands during the handshake. With a standard handshake, which has a neutral character, the hands of the greeting participants are in the same position. They are perpendicular to the surface of the earth and the degree of the angle in the region of the elbow joint will be approximately the same for each.

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Such a handshake indicates a neutral attitude of those who greet each other. In any case, the participants of the greeting do not experience any vivid emotions. People shaking hands in this way are prone to compromising, rational behavior (unless their handshake is overly forceful, but more on that later).

The handshake shown in the figure below has a completely different meaning. The hand of one person is turned down, and the second, on the contrary, looks up with the open part. These are examples of classic opposite types of behavior. Member A demonstrates his arrogant attitude towards participant B, which in turn demonstrates a willingness to obey.

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On the left is participant B, on the right is participant A

Position participant A often indicates powerful and authoritarian personalities. In this case, we can say that A shows his authority, his higher social status. This does not always correspond to the actual state of affairs. Rather, desired. After all, people endowed with power and authority do not often demonstrate them - even with such, almost unconscious gestures. So their handshake is often neutral.

This type of handshake often indicates a desire to get something from your interlocutor. Moreover, we are talking mainly about intangible acquisitions. Member A may be aimed at obtaining confirmation of submission, agreement with some opinion or attitude. Position participant B says the opposite. Such a handshake speaks of the demonstrated friendliness, peacefulness, readiness to make concessions, readiness to sacrifice one's interests and resources for the interests and goals of the interlocutor. People who give their hand in this way seek to find the favor of their greeting partner and are ready to step on the throat of their pride for this. This type of handshake is called the "sycophant handshake". The natural enhancers of such a sycophantic position are the outstretched arm, the bent back, the ingratiating smile, the half-bent knees.

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Sometimes we have to deal with the fact that we give a hand for a neutral handshake, and our partner demonstrates participant A's position, seeking to drive us deeper under the plinth and force us to make a "sycophant handshake." What to do in such a situation?

The answer lies in the realm of non-verbal communication. It is necessary to take half a step towards your unfriendly interlocutor, without tearing your hands. This will cause the interlocutor to turn his hand to a normal vertical position. Then you can take a step back and only then stop the handshake. Thus, your interlocutor at an unconscious level will be rebuffed, and this will make him treat you more carefully and respectfully. The effect can be enhanced by a "friendly" pat on the shoulder or by touching the interlocutor's hand with the left hand. Usually, after such contact, an unfriendly interlocutor looks discouraged and does not show any signs of authoritarian behavior.

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Second hand during a handshake

When shaking hands, not only the hand with which you greet is important, but also the left hand (if you are right-handed), since it expresses the attitude towards the interlocutor much more accurately.

Let's start from a neutral position. The left hand is relaxed and hangs along the body. There is no point in interpreting anything here. Normal relationship. Nothing extraordinary should be expected from a person whose left hand is not involved in any way at the time of the handshake.

If the interlocutor begins to connect the left hand to the handshake process, this indicates that the process begins to carry more emotions and more personal relationships. In such cases, likes and dislikes, hidden and explicit intentions, a desire to show sympathy, provide support, get rid of someone else's presence, or a desire to enter into closer relationships are manifested.

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In ordinary communication, the distance at which communication takes place matters. The further away the interlocutor is from you, the more formal, neutral your relationship is. The closer he comes, the warmer feelings he expects. The exception, of course, is the option with a deliberately extremely negative attitude, when we shorten the distance not out of a desire to hug, but out of a desire to strangle the interlocutor.

In a handshake, the distance value remains the same. Especially when we use the left hand in the ritual.

To begin, consider touch in the area of the hand. Far distance.

In this case, touching the hand is a sign that not the closest relationship has been established between the interlocutors. Most likely, they are in the nature of one-time social transactions. The interlocutor, touching with his free hand the brush of another person, is not currently in close relations with him, they feel distance.

Now let's take a closer look at the different types of touches.

1. During a handshake, your interlocutor grabs your hand with his left hand. Such a position is called "grip grip".

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Although such capture is perceived mostly negatively, it nevertheless has a positive meaning. Thus, the interlocutor expresses his best disposition. Depending on the strength of the handshake, one can also talk about the delight of the meeting, which overwhelms a person. The stronger they shake your hand, holding it in a "glove", the greater the joy they experience from communicating with you. Such a handshake is often awarded to pop and movie stars.

Additional markers confirming this mood are the distance and inclination of the interlocutor's body.

A long distance speaks of a cautious, one might even say touching attitude. But if the hand fell into such a grip, and the interlocutor approached a very short distance, this means that some kind of preferences are expected from you: acceptance, mutual disposition, reciprocal signs of attention.

If, after such a handshake, your interlocutor brings his palms folded together to his face, as if covering his lower part, we can say that he experiences incredible delight from the meeting.

2. Palm from below

In this case, the interlocutor's left hand is like a platform on which your hands rest when shaking hands. This situation speaks of an unconscious desire to provide support, help, console, help with advice. In fact, this gesture demonstrates a willingness to help. If you are faced with this position of the hands, no doubt you can ask for help from your interlocutor - he will help.

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3. Palm on top

The palm of the left hand, covering your hand from above at the moment of shaking hands, means an expression of care and participation.

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This is almost always true when the handshake is between people of different genders or ages. At the same time, if you observe such a position of hands during a handshake between two men of approximately the same age and social status, then the situation can be completely opposite.

Also in this case, you need to pay attention to the context of the situation. If a person puts his palm on top immediately during a handshake, then, probably, we are talking about expressing deep positive feelings towards the interlocutor. If this gesture is formed as a response to any words or movements that have already arisen in the course of the conversation (and the hands do not break contact), then most likely this indicates an attempt to show one's ego, a desire to show who is in charge here.

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The handshake is done in the manner of equal partners, but there are two nuances that point to the superiority of Obama. 1. With his left hand, Obama pats Yatsenyuk on the shoulder. This is a gesture of intrusion into the personal space of a communication partner. Yatsenyuk does not make similar attempts, which only strengthens the effect of Obama's influence. 2. Yatsenyuk's back is so tense that it seems that he stretched out in front of Obama like a rookie in front of a sergeant. In general, the photograph demonstrates Yatsenyuk's tension and his recognition of the higher status of his interlocutor. However, one should not get carried away with interpretations and argue that Yatsenyuk is demonstrating some signs of submission. There is respect, there is tension in the pose, there is tightness, but there is no subordination in this photo

In addition, such a gesture can also occur as a result of a reaction to the unfriendly behavior of the interlocutor or his intrusion into the intimate zone.

Is there a difference between the position of the palm below and above? Undoubtedly. A person who places his palm on the bottom is more inclined to provide any help and support that you ask for. But the person whose palm is on top usually already understands perfectly well what exactly you will need and useful at this moment and in this situation. That is, the difference between the location of the palms reflects the presence or absence of an initiative position. The palm below is a sign of acceptance of your initiative. The palm on top is a sign of readiness to take your own initiative.

This is not always the case. Body position can turn this interpretation on its head.

Touching the interlocutor. Close range

A person can touch the interlocutor with his left hand both in the area of the forearm and in the area of \u200b\u200bthe elbow joint. And in some cases, we place our hand on the shoulder or even put an arm around the back of the one we greet.

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This is where the laws of distance come into play. The closer to the body is the place where the hand of your interlocutor is fixed, the greater the need for communication he feels. Touching the forearm and touching the shoulder have different degrees of expression of those feelings. The most extreme degree is, of course, hugs. Well, or patting the interlocutor on the back.

Do not forget that hugs can also be of the nature of subcultural features. Young people of athletic appearance who greet each other with strong hugs do not always feel too warm feelings for each other. Most likely, this type of greeting is a consequence of their own rituals. They are so accepted. In any case, to assess the relationship of people by their handshake, one should take into account the context of the situation, the influence of cultural and social characteristics.

The strength and duration of the handshake

In addition to the handshake itself, several other factors are important.

1. The power of the handshake. The stronger they shake your hand, the more emotional energy the interlocutor is ready to pour into communication. At the same time, a sluggish handshake is not yet a sign of hostility. Maybe the person just doesn't feel well. And a strong handshake, respectively, is not always a sign of a complacent disposition. The strength of compression indicates only the willingness to spend a certain amount of muscle energy during communication with you. But what will be the nature of the application of this energy depends on completely different factors.

2. Duration of contact. There is a direct correlation with the time that the interlocutor is willing to spend communicating with you. The longer he shakes your hand, the longer the conversation he expects. The shorter the handshake, the faster the opponent is ready to "resolve" all issues and do other, more important things. Often a short handshake indicates the desire of your interlocutor to quickly move on to resolving the issue for which you met. In this case, brevity will indicate a reluctance to waste time on formal procedures.

Interpretation errors

When you analyze non-verbal communication, you understand that not a single gesture and not a single sign is one hundred percent reliable. Moreover, sometimes the same gesture in different situations can have an absolutely opposite meaning.

In order to make fewer mistakes in the interpretation of gestures (and it will not be possible to completely get rid of them), you always need to make allowances for the context of the situation, the characteristics of the culture and social group, and the combination of gesture with posture and facial expressions. But the key features of the handshake in most cases remain unchanged.

The main thing:

1. The handshake expresses the attitude towards the interlocutor. And if a person can lie in words, then through a handshake, the truth is much more likely to be correctly interpreted.

2. Handshake distance means only how much they intend to contact you. A short distance does not necessarily mean a positive location.

3. The stronger the handshake, the greater the desire to make contact. And the more emotions overwhelm your interlocutor.

4. The main signs of a formal handshake are: long distance, sluggish handshake, short hand contact time. This indicates a lack of interest in communication.

5. If the left hand is used in a handshake, this is a sign that the interlocutor puts more personal relationship into contact with you than in other cases and with other people.

I also suggest watching and trying to analyze the video of real and interesting handshakes of President Petro Poroshenko with Catherine Ashton, Vladimir Putin, Nursultan Nazarbayev and Alexander Lukashenko in Minsk - using only acquired knowledge.

And now - check the conclusions drawn. So, Ashton expresses his support for Poroshenko by performing a “glove” handshake gesture, covering the palm of the Ukrainian president from above. Poroshenko shows a positive attitude towards Ashton by smiling, but the time of eye contact with her is very short. Before the handshake with Ashton is over, his eyes are already on Putin.

The handshake with Putin is defiantly cold. Too sharp, theatrical transition from a smile addressed to Ashton, to tense walking jaws and a petrified look addressed to Putin.

In the next second, the tension in Poroshenko's posture begins to subside and the duty handshake with Nazarbayev is already taking place under the auspices of a slight smile. And Lukashenka gets all the emotional stash from Poroshenko - both a smile, and a turn of the body shoulder to shoulder, and a caring "glove" when shaking hands.

The conclusion is that Poroshenko's coldness towards Putin is feigned, emphasized, somewhat exaggerated. And this was done in contrast to the smiles of other participants in the meeting, specifically to emphasize the negative attitude towards him.

Our world, with its crazy pace of life, feminization, seems to have completely forgotten how they used to strictly follow the rules of etiquette. I would like to believe that good manners and politeness in communication between people have not yet lost their significance.
It is impossible not to agree with the folk wisdom that they are greeted by clothes, but they are escorted by the mind, but it may not reach the last if the acquaintance turns out to be crumpled and chaotic. The effectiveness of the first conversation depends on a number of factors: demeanor and etiquette. Someone may ignore excessive assertiveness, but someone will not like it and there will be no talk of continuing the acquaintance.
You can say hello, or wink, or exchange a kiss, but sometimes you can’t do without traditional handshake. The latter is used not only for greetings, but also at parting, during congratulations, as a sign of approval, the conclusion of a certain agreement or reconciliation. This article will discuss the rules for shaking hands during a greeting.

Story
According to one version, handshake appeared in primitive warlike times, according to another - during knightly tournaments. However, the essence of this gesture has always been the same: the men wanted to testify the absence of any weapon, which is why they gave their right hand.
Evidence of a more ancient origin of the handshake is that in Greek art, figures of people shaking hands are found as early as the fifth century BC. e. In literary sources, the handshake is mentioned in the first century AD in Ovid's poem Metamorphoses. But this is the story of a male handshake, with a female one everything is much more complicated. As early as the 19th century, it was not common. The "Rules of social life and etiquette" (published in 1889 in St. Petersburg) said that a lady should not shake a man's hand, but only give him hers and touch his palm with her fingertips.
Among women, the custom is to shake hands coincides in time with their entry into the workplace in the 1970s.

Types of handshakes
In the book "Ladies' Etiquette. The Modern Woman's Guide, Helen Brown, editor-in-chief of Cosmopolitan magazine, lists several types of handshakes:

traditional - an ordinary strong handshake;
French - the interlocutors squeeze each other's wrists;
comradely - weave hands;
old-fashioned "feel me" - on the go, their palms barely touch and continue to move.

By pressing and turning the palms, an authoritative, submissive and equal handshake is distinguished. There is also a glove handshake (also called the "politician's handshake") - both hands are involved in the process - but this style is only acceptable in very close business relationships.

So, the handshake should not be too relaxed, as well as overly strong. Women should remember that if in ordinary life a delicate handshake with the fingertips looks quite acceptable, then in a work environment it will mean shyness and some neuroticism. A strong (but not crunchy!) handshake indicates friendliness and sociability, a principled position in life.
By the way, the SC&C International Agency, conducting a study on the health of European men and women over 50, came to the conclusion that the strongest handshake in Czech women. The second place was taken by the Germans, and the third by the Austrians. It was noted that French and Spanish women have tender hands. And what about the Russian women, who will enter a burning hut and stop a galloping horse? I'm sure they would definitely take first place in this ranking (although is it really necessary?), but Russian women are not used to shaking someone's hand. It seems to be nothing terrible, but refusal to shake hands in European society is considered an insult. That's it.

Back to the handshake process
It does not follow:

firstly, shake the partner's hand in the air, a slight wiggle is enough,
secondly, shake hands with both hands, unless you are in a very close relationship with a partner, otherwise it looks like fawning;
thirdly, to delay the process too much: the optimal duration of a handshake is 3-5 seconds.

The hand must be given confidently, freely, without forgetting about elegance, after all, we are women and in any situation we must look spectacular. And do not forget that the eyes are the window to the soul, so if you want to show your sincerity, look your partner in the eyes and smile while shaking hands.

With gloves or without?
When greeting, a woman may not take off her glove - the only exception is a meeting with a woman much older than herself. But the handshake will still be more sincere if there are no obstacles between the hands of the partners. Not to mention the fact that, for example, it is inconvenient to greet people in thick mittens or fur leather gloves, so it’s better to take them off.
And, of course, it should be remembered that if you have already removed the glove from one hand, then you need to expose the other. Naturally, we are not talking about gloves (like, cloth, silk), which are part of the evening dress.

Who will be the first to give a hand?
It is the woman who decides whether to shake hands with a man or not, but besides gender differences, there are others. Remember, the first to give a hand:

a) senior in age;
b) senior in position;
c) passing by the group.

So if the initiative must come from another person who does not show a desire to shake your hand, you should not insist. In this case, it is better to accept the rules of someone else's game.

Rules
In addition to the rule that determines who will be the first to give a hand, there are several that must be followed:

1. If you are sitting and a hand is offered to you, you can not get up, unless the interlocutor is a woman older in age or position.
2. Even if you are left-handed, you still need to give your right hand to shake hands. However, if the right hand is occupied or damaged, you can file, after apologizing, the left hand. In this case, the free hand should not lie in the pocket.
3. If you met a friend in the company of people and decided to shake his hand, you should greet everyone in the same way.
4. Couples who greet each other with a handshake to avoid crossed hands do it in this order: first the ladies greet each other, then the men, and everything ends with a strong male handshake.

give a hand it is necessary at the last moment of the presentation or greeting - you should not go through the entire hall with an outstretched hand. It is also not customary to shake hands across the table.
And remember, if you are hosting a reception, you will have to shake hands with everyone invited. And if you came to visit, you will have to shake hands to greet even the one with whom you are currently in a quarrel.

Cultural Features
In post-Soviet countries handshake mainly used in business, although not excluded in everyday life.
in Muslim countries no handshake allowed between a woman and a man. Islam does not accept even a brief contact between people of different sexes, unless they are related by blood ties, remember this both when traveling and when meeting representatives of these countries. A similar prohibition is contained in Judaism.
Not accepted to shake hands and among the peoples of Southeast Asia. And in Japan, a handshake is generally considered a foreign gesture, especially for women. Scientists explain this attitude to the handshake by the fact that the Japanese avoid a direct look, which is inevitable when shaking hands, and they also do not like the way they touch each other.
In the UK, shaking hands when greeting is nowhere near as popular as in other European countries or America. The British rarely shake hands with each other when they meet and almost never do it when they say goodbye. But if they do, then unlike our rules of etiquette, a man should initiate a handshake.
Increased interest in shaking hands observed in Germany: Germans like to shake hands at every opportunity. Like, for example, the Swiss, for whom a handshake is an indispensable element of a personal meeting.

How can you get around such a custom as kissing a woman's hand? Who does not dream of such worship of male lips? Even now, when this custom in the post-Soviet countries is becoming a thing of the past, it is very common in the West.
If you like to be kissed on your hand, be sure to visit Poland: a true Pole will kiss a woman's hand at every meeting and parting.
Remember: you should not stretch out your hand for a kiss on the street; do it indoors. If it so happened that they extended their hand to a man, and instead of shaking hands, he decided to kiss her (if only there were more of them!), You should not pull her away, from the outside it doesn’t look very nice. And if you don't want a repeat of this situation, cross that man's name off your "handshake list."
And the most important thing. You should not raise your hand to the face of a man, demanding a kiss, let the interlocutor have a choice: kiss or still shake.

Finally, I would like to note: if you do not know what the rules of etiquette prescribe in a given situation, just be polite. As in the case if the hand you extended for a handshake was not accepted. These are problems of education, fortunately, not yours. Take it easy.

A handshake seems to be an elementary gesture, and for many it has become an ordinary formality. However, this simple gesture plays an important role in our lives, and it must be treated carefully. A handshake can speak of your interest in a person, or a lack of any interest in him, express confidence or signal weakness, can show warmth, openness and honesty, or a desire to hide something. At the same time, shaking hands is a very informative gesture, with your handshake you send a subtle, but very powerful impulse about who you are and what your intentions are.

Price and handshake age

When a person first shook hands with a person, we do not know for sure, however, that this is a very ancient gesture is evidenced, for example, by a bas-relief that can be seen below .. On it, the Babylonian king Marduk-zakir-shumi I shakes hands with Shalmananasar III, the king of the Assyrians. They shook hands in 855 BC.

The Babylonian king Marduk-zakir-shumi was expelled from Babylon by his brother Marduk-bel-usati. The enraged king turned to the Assyrian ruler Shalmaneser III for help. Shalmaneser helped. He helped in such a way that for this service Marduk-zakir-shumi was forced to cede significant territories to him, and actually became a vassal of the Assyrian king.

Then a civil war broke out in Assyria and Shamshi-Adad V began to fight for the throne, who turned to Marduk-zakir-shumi for help. The Babylonian king helped Shamshi-Adad to take power, but in response he asked for the lands taken by Shalmaneser. The Assyrian king first gave them away, and then strengthened himself in power, went to war with Babylon and took the land again. What was the price of this handshake?

Biorhythm in Russian

Touching hands is an ancient gesture that communicates a lot to interlocutors without a single word. Much can be determined by how strong and how long a handshake is. Its duration is proportional to the warmth of the relationship, close friends or people who have not seen each other for a long time and rejoice at the meeting could make a warm handshake not with one hand, but with both.

The elder was usually the first to extend his hand to the younger - it was, as it were, an invitation to him into his circle. The hand must be "naked" - this rule has been preserved to this day.

An open hand indicates trust.

Another option for shaking hands is touching not with the palms, but with the hands. Apparently, it was common among the warriors: this is how they checked that the one they met on their way did not have weapons with them, and demonstrated their unarmedness.

The sacred meaning of such a greeting is that when the wrists touch, the pulse is transmitted, and hence the biorhythm of another person. Two people form a chain, which is also important in the Russian tradition. Later, when the rules of etiquette appeared, only friends were supposed to shake hands. And in order to greet distant acquaintances, they raised their hats. This is where the Russian expression "hat acquaintance" came from, meaning a superficial acquaintance.

Mysterious handshakes

The handshake is not only a gesture, but also a symbol. It is used in heraldry. Both in state, and in "corporate". For example, the Masons. On the seals and banners of Masonic lodges, handshakes, as well as a "fraternal chain" of woven hands, symbolize brotherhood.

Not every handshake depicted is so easy to guess. Look, for example, at this bas-relief. It is located on the pediment of 131 houses on Fontanka Embankment in St. Petersburg. Until 1918, the house belonged to the Jewish merchants Margolin, and was reconstructed in 1914 by the architect Lishnevsky. The composer Vasily Solovyov-Sedoy, the author of "Moscow Nights" and many military songs, lived in this house.

What does this handshake mean? The bas-relief is interesting in that it combines, on the one hand, a handshake as a symbol of brotherhood and trust, as well as flowers, which in heraldry often denote frailty and fragility. The helmets of the warriors are taken off and lie under their feet, but at the same time the warrior on the right is standing with a raised shield with the image of Magen David.

For the first time, Magen David entered the official Jewish heraldry only in 1354, when Emperor Charles IV (Holy Roman Emperor) granted the Jews of Prague the privilege of having their own flag. This flag - a red cloth with a six-pointed star - was called the "flag of King David." Magen David also adorned the official seal of the community and became the de facto official symbol of the Jewish community in Prague for centuries.

It is significant that in the Hellenistic period Magen David was not associated with Jews. Long before the hexagram acquired the status of a Jewish symbol, this role was played by the menorah - a temple lamp.

What does the bas-relief represent? Transferring the Shield of David from the Holy Roman Emperor? Why is there not only a handshake on the bas-relief, but also flowers? You can write your versions in the comments.

"Hand fight"

The handshake that we exchange everywhere when meeting, parting, getting to know each other is, first of all, contact, interaction. Meanwhile, it was believed that touch could cure or, conversely, transmit the disease, cause damage, or cause sexual desire. So, in the 16th century in Rus', it was not allowed to join hands in round dances, since this was seen as a "means to voluptuousness."

Being an ambiguous and multifaceted gesture, the handshake was also a ritual conclusion of an agreement, a “handshake” that legitimized the deal.

In the northern Russian shepherds there was a rite of agreement between the shepherd and the goblin. The shepherd went to the forest in the spring to negotiate with the goblin the number of cows or sheep given to the goblin, which guaranteed excellent grazing. The shepherd fought on the hands with the goblin, for which he put on woolen mittens, and on his right hand he also put on a special large straw hand, which served as a talisman against evil spirits.

All types of ritual handshake, the same “handshake” in the wedding ceremony, were performed with a covered hand in order to protect oneself from damage, and in an etiquette handshake, the hand should be bare as a sign of trust.

Be careful abroad

A handshake is a rather intimate gesture. Attitudes towards it vary from country to country. So, there is absolutely no need to rush with outstretched fives to the Japanese. Handshakes in the Land of the Rising Sun are not accepted. Also, do not rush to shake hands with a Hindu. In India, the traditional type of greeting is "namaste" - hands folded together at the level of the heart. This word is translated as "bow to you", and also means: "the divine in me welcomes and unites with the divine in you."

Australian Aborigines greet each other by dancing around each other, New Zealand Aborigines stick out their tongues and bulge their eyes. In Egypt and Yemen, as a sign of greeting, men put their palm to their forehead - with the back side towards the interlocutor, and in Iran, Malaysia and some other Muslim countries, after shaking hands, you need to press your right hand to your heart.

In China, Korea, and Tibet, both hands must be used when shaking hands; in extreme cases, you need to give your right hand, and with your left hand support your right hand in the area of \u200b\u200bthe elbow from the side of the shoulder, from below. The use of one hand, especially the left, can be taken as a gesture of disrespect.

The easiest way to shake hands is in the USA, but even there it is more common during business meetings, it is not used so often in everyday life. The situation is similar in the UK.

The greatest tact must be shown in Muslim countries. Especially towards women. It is forbidden to touch persons of the opposite sex, and the woman should be the first to greet.

Not just a gesture

Be careful how you shake hands. In Russia, it is customary to stick to the "golden mean". Do not aggressively, like claws, squeeze your hand when shaking hands. This can be regarded as a manifestation of aggression. It is also not necessary to give a relaxed palm. To a person with a sluggish handshake, the attitude is not immediately the most benevolent.

When traveling abroad, you need to remember that the attitude towards handshakes in the West and East is fundamentally different. In the USA and Western Europe, a firm handshake is valued in business circles, as it reflects dominance; in the East, for example, in Japan, it is not customary to shake hands for a long time. The handshake should be concise and simple.

If you suddenly find yourself in the Copper Canyons of Mexico and meet an Indian of the Tarahumara tribe, stretch out your open palm to him and touch his fingertips with your fingers. If you start shaking hands with an Indian, he may not understand and simply run away, but the Tarahumara run quickly.

Update date: 03/16/2018

Most often, it is with a handshake that the greeting ceremony ends. In the distant past, the ritual showed peaceful intentions - after all, there are no weapons in the hands. For a handshake, the right hand is usually served, this rule also applies to left-handers. However, if the right hand is occupied or damaged, you can file, after apologizing, the left hand. In this case, the free hand should not lie in the pocket.

Offering a hand, you can not keep it relaxed, as if handing a frog to hold. But you should not squeeze your partner’s hand with all your might, shaking it in the air. Give your hand confidently, shake - calmly, gently and briefly.

You should not shake the palm with your two hands, as well as give only the tips of your fingers for shaking.

In case you are, he should be the first to lend a hand.

Man and woman

When a man and a woman meet, the lady decides whether or not to shake hands. Etiquette prescribes the first to give a hand to a woman. Also, when meeting people of different ages, the initiative should come from older comrades. If a lady or a person older than you in position or age decides to portray a slight bow and verbally greet you, you should not insist on a handshake. However, if the hand extended to you is left hanging in the air, then this will be regarded as an insult.

Having met a friend in the company of other people, it will be polite to shake hands with each of them.

In the event that you meet with a group of people, including your acquaintance, the rules of good manners require that you shake hands with everyone present.

On the street

On the street, etiquette requires men to take off their gloves, but women do not have to do this. When shaking hands, both hands must be without gloves, or both of them are wearing them. If your counterpart has already pulled off the glove, you will have to follow suit. But this rule of etiquette does not apply to mittens: they must be removed before shaking hands for everyone.

In room

Upon entering the room, first of all, take off your gloves, and only then greet those present. When leaving, it is also acceptable to shake handsif the company was small. A person who systematically walks around the living room and shakes hands with everyone looks rather ridiculous. Also, do not go to say hello across the room with an outstretched hand. With a large crowd of people, it is enough to say hello or say goodbye to everyone with a slight bow.

How couples greet each other

There is a routine for couples who greet each other with a handshake to avoid crossed hands.

At the same time, first the ladies to the right of their companions shake hands with each other. Then they give hands to men. The greeting ends with a male handshake. If the ladies are standing opposite each other, then this position further simplifies the greeting: women and men shake hands at the same time. Then one of the men walks around his companion from behind and shakes the hand of the lady extended to him.

It is worth remembering cultural peculiarities, where a handshake between a woman and a man is impossible in principle, because. touching people of the opposite sex is one of the strictest taboos.

Also, you should not abuse the handshake in case of frequent meetings during the day, for example, at work. It doesn't make sense, and it looks a bit silly.

Handshake- matter is much more subtle than it may seem to an ignorant person at first glance. It is not known for certain how the ritual of shaking hands appeared, but it can be easily assumed that such a gesture allowed our wild ancestors to be convinced of the good intentions of a relative they met. The open hand extended to the interlocutor demonstrated frankness and sincerity, the absence of weapons. And, in fact, squeezing it provided not only bodily contact, which is very important for communication for representatives of our species, but also made it possible to make sure that in front of you is not a ghost, not a mirage or some other sorcery, but a living person made of flesh and blood.

Today in the field of business and everyday communication, handshake remained the only generally accepted gesture still valid today. Therefore, everyone who does not want to get into an unpleasant situation should study handshake etiquette. Moreover, this seemingly so simple gesture has enough features and various aspects that need to be taken into account. Especially often raise questions about the rules of shaking hands between a man and a woman. Well, let's look at them all in order.

Who is holding out a hand? It must be well understood that shaking hands is not for everyone. There is even such a special definition: "shaking hands", which means approximately "entering into certain circles, welcomed." In the same way that we address the majority of unfamiliar people with “you”, and only our colleagues, close acquaintances and friends use “you”, it is just as indecent to put your hand on those whom you allow yourself to address with “you”. you can not. From this, by the way, you should not conclude that everyone with whom you shake hands immediately goes into the category of people who can be addressed as "you".

So you must be sure that the person to whom you are about to reach out for a handshake is kind to you and pleasant to you. If you stick your hand in everyone, it will too often hang awkwardly in the air, and this gesture of trust itself is completely devalued from such a dismissive attitude towards it.

Who is the first to reach out? If you met a person older than you, or a person of a higher social status, senior in rank, position, then it is he who has the right to initiate a handshake. From the point of view of relations between men and women, there is a somewhat twofold situation in this matter. In general, a woman should give her hand first, but this applies only to a business setting, but in everyday communication, oddly enough, a man can be the first to extend her hand. Likewise, status takes precedence over gender. A male professor can extend his hand to a student, but not vice versa, and a female doctor is the first to extend her hand to a young laboratory assistant.

How do they reach out? It is very important to stretch your hand correctly. First, you need to do it confidently, if you have already decided. You do not need to make jerky and uncertain movements, as if you are afraid of something, as many people who suffer from internal insecurity do. The line of the arm should be only slightly curved, too much bent arm will force the person to come into too close contact with you, to touch, so to speak, your comfort zones, and this may be unpleasant for him.

Holding out a hand to a man woman usually pulls her a little further than when her counterpart is a woman, and sometimes has to lift her a little higher than usual, due to the difference in height. A man should do the same (not raise his hand, but stretch it a little further), maintaining a competent distance.

There is another such concept, as a dominant handshake, when the person holding out his hand turns his hand palm down, as if "covering" the interlocutor's palm. Giving a hand with the palm up, on the contrary, indicates the transfer of initiative to the interlocutor. Such handshakes can often be found between subordinates and superiors. It is indecent to give a hand to a woman in one of the listed ways; a lady’s hand is always served exclusively with an edge.

Handshake duration. Again, it all depends on the relationship that the shaking hands are in. A warm and long handshake is for old people, a quick and formal one for business partners, something in between will suit two colleagues. But you don’t need to pull your hand right away, even if you are greeting a stranger. One and a half to two seconds is the standard, beyond which it is not recommended to go.

Handshake intensity. A too weak handshake usually indicates a lack of interest, or even a dismissive attitude towards the interlocutor, and too strong is already an act of aggression. A strong and long handshake can be afforded by two old friends, but squeezing each other's palms strongly is, perhaps, appropriate only in the ring before a boxing match.

In general, in intensity handshakes you should focus on your counterpart, trying to squeeze your hand in approximately the same way as he squeezes yours. A man who shakes a delicate female hand needs to be especially sensitive. It costs nothing to hurt a woman, even if you did not have such malicious intent. When greeting a woman by the hand, it is better to be careful - in these cases, you don’t have to worry that your too light handshake will be taken for weakness, insecurity or neglect. Women are much more annoyed by dorks who do not know how to calculate their own strength.

Handshakes at a meeting and farewell. If, when meeting with a stranger, you limited yourself to only a short nod of your head, but during the conversation you had a good time, got to know each other better and became a little closer to each other, then despite the lack of a handshake at the meeting, you can initiate it when parting. This rule applies equally to man-to-man, woman-to-woman and woman-to-man handshakes, and the same rules apply to this situation as to any other.