Female betrayal for the sake of achieving the goal. What does a woman feel after her infidelity? Causes and consequences. Why wives, beloved girls and women cheat - a question for a psychologist

Arkady Davidovich

Adultery has always been considered a great sin because it causes great pain and suffering to the partner and often leads to the breakdown of the marriage. This often affects children who are very sensitive to the divorce of their parents. In addition, even if the marriage does not break up, then betrayal kills the trust of the spouses in each other, which negatively affects their future life together. Therefore, treason is condemned in any society. But despite her condemnation, people, both men and women, both cheated and continue to cheat on each other. About why this happens and what to do if your partner, in our case a woman, cheated on you, we will talk in this article.

A woman's betrayal is always a strong blow to a man's ego. In most men, after such an act of a woman, self-esteem instantly drops, working capacity and activity decrease. However, female adultery has a number of negative consequences for the woman herself, which she often does not think about when she decides to cheat. First of all, this is a very bad reputation that a woman acquires in the eyes of men by cheating on her man, her husband. Also, by her act, she relieves a man of many obligations to her. For example, she relieves a man of the need to be faithful to her and take care of her in the way that he could do it, knowing that she was faithful to him. Of course, in different cases, different men have different attitudes towards the betrayal of their woman, but most often this attitude is extremely negative. Therefore, her betrayal can affect the future life of a woman in the most unfavorable way. Meanwhile, for men who are faced with female infidelity, I recommend that you remain calm and look for new opportunities in what happened, which, believe me, will help you greatly change your life for the better. Yes, yes, for the best. So if your wife, girlfriend, girlfriend cheated on you - you can not suffer and torment yourself. This act has its positive aspects, and I will tell you about them.

So, your woman, wife, girlfriend, girlfriend - cheated on you. And now you want to understand - what actually happened? Your thoughts are confused, cats are scratching at your soul, you cannot find a place for yourself, you are overwhelmed with a variety of negative feelings. All this prevents you from looking at what happened with a calm, reasonable eye, in order to decide what you should do next. And what happened, I believe, should have happened - your woman showed you what she is capable of. No matter what motivated a woman to cheat, below I will explain why women cheat, what pushes them to do so. The important thing is that your woman cannot resist her desire to enjoy being with another man in order to remain faithful to you. And in some cases, she doesn't want to. It shows you what kind of woman you are. And it's time for you to ask yourself - how does it suit you? And speaking even more thoroughly - you need to think about whether you deserve more, or do you have a woman who you yourself correspond to? I am not saying that you are a bad man who deserves to be cheated on. In no case. I only urge you to think about your own strengths and weaknesses and compare them with the strengths and weaknesses of your woman. This will allow you to make a more informed decision on what you should do - to forgive a woman for cheating, or to refuse it.

In general, I believe that female adultery should be treated philosophically. If a woman or wife cheated on you, this is an occasion for you to think about your life, and perhaps change something in it. What needs to be changed depends on what you want out of life. If your goal is to create a strong, friendly, reliable and prosperous family in which spouses will be devoted to each other, then, of course, you need a reliable partner - a reliable woman whom you can trust. Therefore, if your wife is not capable of fidelity, you should part with her. Do not demand from a person what he is not capable of - just replace him. And if your whole life is a constant pursuit of pleasure, if family values ​​\u200b\u200bare alien to you, and you yourself are prone to treason, then think about whether it is worth worrying about your wife’s infidelity at all? Think about what you want from life, and it may turn out that the devotion of a woman is not so important to you. She cheated on you, but you, in turn, can also live a freer and fuller life, without any obligations to her.

Let's find out now - why do women cheat on men? It's all about female nature, which gives rise to a woman's need to be desired by men. A woman needs to be loved, to be paid attention to, to be admired, to be taken care of, and to be wanted. Therefore, a woman strives to be beautiful in order to attract the attention of men. Her task is to choose the best man and give birth to children from him. Therefore, her instinctive desires are aimed at satisfying this particular need. If a man, by his nature, seeks to fertilize as many females as possible in order to ensure the survival of his species, then a woman, in turn, strives to seduce as many men as possible in order to choose the best, most worthy of them. Everything is very simple. It is our nature, our instinctive needs that drive us. And it's only our upbringing, our beliefs, and the culture we hold that stop some of us from committing adultery. You understand that society cannot be stable without condemning such acts, and our entire civilization will wallow in fornication and depravity, thereby destroying itself. But at the same time, we must never forget what needs are hidden within us. You can introduce any punishment for treason, up to the death penalty, but there will still be treason, because a person is prone to them, both men and women. People will cheat on each other if they are unable or unwilling to control their instinctual needs.

Therefore, dear men, if your woman, your wife, cheated on you, then this means that she simply could not cope with her nature, she went on about her instincts and gave free rein to her desires. You may not be to blame for this at all, so do not blame yourself for anything. Yes, there are cases when a man, by his behavior, pushes a woman to cheat, I won’t deny it. Every case is different, so I can't speak for everyone. But you must remember that women always strive to attract the attention of men, especially if they are beautiful, self-confident women, without complexes. Look how many married women strive to look beautiful, and some - defiantly beautiful, in order to attract the attention of men and thus feel their importance, feel their strength. Do they all have bad husbands? No. Husbands have absolutely nothing to do with it. It's all about the nature of a woman, who is what she is, if you don't inspire a woman in anything and don't limit her in anything. As, however, and men. So women will always be interested in men, even if they have husbands. And men will be interested in women, even if they have wives. Of course, there are instincts, but there is reason, which both women and men must listen to in order not to commit such acts that will cause pain and suffering to their partner. But a person is too weak to control himself constantly and in everything. Therefore, in some ways, he will certainly give slack.

So is the betrayal of a woman, wife, in this case, her mistake? Undoubtedly. If she loses more than she gains by following her instincts, then of course, her betrayal is a mistake. But, first of all, it is still her weakness. This is how a man, having a wonderful, loving, respecting wife-beauty, ready for anything for him, for some reason cheats on her with some nondescript girl, following the lead of his natural, and in worldly terms, dog instincts, thereby killing trust and self-respect, this is how a woman, without any logic, can go on about her female instincts and cheat on her man, completely undermining her confidence in herself and often destroying her family in this way, and with it her happiness. This is all a manifestation of unconscious, instinctive behavior, so it is useless to look for logic here - it's all about emotional desires that a person does not control with his mind. Rather, from the point of view of nature, there is logic here. It lies in the desire of women to attract the attention of men, and in another case, in the desire of men to get as many women as possible. All this is in the interests of nature in terms of the reproduction of the human population. So cheating is a natural human act. In some ways it is wrong, immoral, ugly, but natural. If a person is too weak to control his instinctive desires, he will change, betray, deceive, as soon as circumstances push him to this.

And in order to understand betrayal and possibly forgive it, you need to pay attention not to others, but to your own weaknesses and secret desires and feel their strength. Perhaps you, as a man, as a highly moral person, cannot imagine sex without love, you have never cheated on your woman, and therefore it is difficult for you to understand a person who can decide to cheat. In this case, pay attention to your other weaknesses - which make you not an ideal person, not an ideal man, not an ideal husband. Do you have them? I'm sure there is. Pay attention to them, feel their power, which affects your behavior and makes it imperfect, beyond the control of your mind. Feel what it's like to go on about your emotions and feelings, doing what, from the point of view of common sense, you don’t need to do, but you have to. And then, imagine that exactly the same forces act on those people who cheat on their spouses. And in particular, women can not cope with these forces and cheat on their man, for no logical reason. This will help you understand them. This will help you understand the reason for cheating, which may not affect your attitude towards such acts, but at least give you a better understanding of why people commit them.

There is another important point in female infidelity that you should be aware of. It concerns the age of a woman and her vision of her future. The older a woman becomes, the less attention men begin to pay to her, and the woman feels this, and it frightens her. Not every woman admits that she is afraid of growing old, not because old age is terrible in itself, but because she is afraid that men, including her own husband, will stop paying attention to her, stop being interested in her, stop want her. But this fear lives in a woman, so she is looking for opportunities to take more love and attention from life at a young age, while the demand from men for her is large enough. All these love adventures, intrigues, flirting - they all make a woman's life interesting and joyful. They allow her to feel alive, in demand, needed, desired. Often women do not need sex so much as relationships with other men, especially when their own husbands pay little attention to them. They need the attention of a man, they want to be looked after, to be loved, to be wanted. And sex often occurs at the initiative of a man, because it is they who need it more, while a woman needs emotions and feelings more. And the woman gives in - she goes for treason because she wants not only to take from the man what she needs, but also to give him something in return. At the same time, she can love her husband and her family, but emotions, feelings, instincts - it is sometimes very difficult for people to cope with them.

I do not justify women who cheated on their husbands, I just want to say that in each individual case, a woman can be understood. Perhaps she cannot be forgiven, and you, respected men, are not obliged to do this. But you can understand a woman. So not only the desire to have fun, but also fear pushes a woman to cheat. Put yourself in her place and think about how difficult it is sometimes to realize that today you have attention, and tomorrow it may not be there, even from your own husband, who may be interested in younger girls. A woman can understand this, or she can feel it instinctively, so she often faces a choice - to take the opportunity to experience new vivid feelings, or to miss them, while remaining faithful to her man. And you know, it is not always easy for a woman to make this choice, no matter how wonderful a man her husband is. The subconscious fear that in the future few people will need you, although this, of course, is not a fact, pushes a woman to insane, illogical actions from the point of view of men. But there is logic in them - you just need to understand what a woman feels when she starts a relationship on the side. And in order to understand the feelings of a woman, not being a woman, it is necessary to bring a woman to a sincere conversation, then she herself will tell you everything about her feelings. And since I have repeatedly managed to do this, I am telling you about what sometimes women themselves cannot tell, because they are not fully aware of the patterns of their behavior and the nature of their desires and feelings.

I think that understanding that a woman does not always consciously commit adultery, taking into account and evaluating all the consequences of her act, will help you, if not forgive, then at least understand your woman, seeing in her betrayal, first of all, weakness. Is it then possible to blame a man, a woman for her weakness? It's hard for me to answer this question. After all, there are many weak people, and everyone has their own weaknesses. We can blame people for greed, cowardice, laziness, envy and other negative qualities that are their weakness, but this does not stop them from being part of their nature. And I repeat, we are all weak in some way. So how can we blame other people for their weakness if we ourselves are not perfect? We may be disappointed that a man does not meet our requirements and does not justify our hopes, but he is what he is - a woman is what she is. If you can find a better one, no one bothers you to replace it. If you understand that weakness is characteristic of many people, including you, and you are not going to spend your life looking for exactly the one that will suit you in everything - I think you can accept the imperfection of this world, in the face of a woman who is imperfect in her behavior . But it all depends on how you treat yourself. If female adultery hits your pride hard, if you think that no woman has the right to instruct you in cuckolds, then you have only one way out - to leave this woman.

And if you want to stay with a woman who has cheated on you, a wife, if you love her, and she is dear to you, then accept her for who she is. If she loves you, she won’t betray you anymore, and if she doesn’t love you, then think about why and why do you love her? Maybe you don’t love her, but you’re just afraid of losing her, not imagining life without her. In this case, you need the help of a psychologist, because if you are emotionally dependent on a person who causes you suffering, you need to get rid of this addiction. Just don’t put your woman in a “golden cage” and limit her in every possible way, fearing that she will cheat on you again. Think for yourself, will this make your life better and you happier? Unlikely. You can take possession of a woman's body, but you cannot take possession of her soul and heart without her desire. Therefore, there can be no talk of any love if a man constantly controls his woman and forbids everything to her. Love is born only in freedom, and fear and hatred are born in captivity. Therefore, it is better to give a woman freedom and let her live the way she wants, deciding for herself what suits you in her behavior and what does not. There are many people, many women - we can choose with whom we live. I am sure you will be able to evaluate all the pros and cons of your woman and make an acceptable choice for you - to forgive her for her betrayal, or not. The main thing that you must understand is that whatever choice you make, it will be the right one. You should not look at other people and their actions in similar situations - they have their own values, their own rules, their own vision of life and their attitude towards women, so their decisions should not affect yours. Think for yourself - what is best for you - to leave the woman who cheated on you, or to forgive her and stay with her.

In this regard, I do not recommend that you limit yourself to something - live life to the fullest and use all the opportunities that appear to you to make your life more interesting and enjoyable, regardless of your internal settings. And if you have a new relationship - do not give up on them, look at life more broadly and take everything you need from it. There are many women, and the nature of a man, as you remember, encourages him to give his attention to as many of them as possible. Therefore, if your woman, wife, did not appreciate your devotion to her, then she does not need her. Of course, I don’t know what value system you adhere to, but I know that you are a man, and you have certain desires that you can and need to realize in order to feel like a happier person. It's better than being heartbroken over female infidelity.

From my point of view, if a woman cheats on a man, then by her act she tells him - I relieve you of the obligation to be faithful to me, because I myself cannot be like that. Use this opportunity, if, of course, such a life suits you, and then you will feel much happier. But if you see that the betrayal of your woman, wife, is just a mistake that she regrets very much, think about forgiving her. After all, who knows, maybe someday you will not be able to keep yourself from some rash act, following the lead of your instincts, and then you will also regret what you have done, counting on forgiveness. And if you want to be forgiven, learn to forgive yourself. And betrayal, despite all its soreness, can be forgiven. You know, sometimes such an experience only strengthens the family if people draw the right conclusions from their mistakes.

Common truths are always hard to prove, however, as well as to refute. So, let's try to find out how fair such a different attitude in society is towards male and female campaigns to the left.

Essence. The first thing that comes to mind when you talk about adultery is that treason is treason, and there is no difference in who, how and to whom he cheated, that everyone is equally to blame, and retribution should overtake everyone equally. Like, if you fucked someone on the side, it means that your girlfriend now has the right to go "hands".

I could follow this simple path - limit myself to a couple of “correct” and beautiful phrases, and end there, but as practice shows, simple decisions are not always correct, and even if society has a DIFFERENT attitude towards male and female campaigns to the side, it means that there is something on which such a DIFFERENT attitude is based.

I can imagine how feminists will be outraged now, but the main conclusion that I came to after two years of studying the topic "Treason" - Male and female adultery (betrayal of a spouse) far from the same. And a different approach to them, among people, justified and natural. Between men's and women's infidelity can not put an equal sign. There is an abyss between them. So, for example, if a woman’s betrayal is almost always associated with a lot of complications for all three corners of a love triangle, then a man’s going to the side usually does not bring problems to anyone, moreover, it has a certain meaning, and therefore in society there is such a different attitude towards men and women. women's trips to the side. However, from here “we will have to say” in more detail ...

What is treason? Before you start talking about cheating, you should answer the question: What is CHANGE anyway?
Let's open Dahl's dictionary:

TREASON, infidelity, betrayal, sweeping away, insidious transition, joining the enemy; change in feelings, thoughts, actions, in the opposite direction.
So the meaning of the word is clear. Cheating is not the sexual act itself. Cheating is a betrayal, for example - when you are married (married) to one partner, but you begin to give your sympathy, love, attention to another to the detriment of the relationship with the spouse.

For example, you have an old friend, you have been friends with him for a long time, trust each other and have helped him more than once, and he has helped you. You can make friends with someone else, and this will not yet be a betrayal of your old friend. But if your new acquaintances seriously affect your old friendship, leading to the fact that you forget your old friend, stop communicating with him, will no longer help him if necessary, and even begin to discuss his actions and personality behind the eyes, slander to his address, i.e., if your new relationship will change your relationship, then this will be betrayal old friendship, that's it treason.

One more example. Sometimes we say: "Walking down the street and met a friend." By this we want to say that we saw him, said hello and talked a little. But is it possible to say that we met with him? No. The meeting is not limited to seeing, saying hello and talking. When we ride in a crowded bus, we are very close to each other, but we do not meet. It would not make any sense to address the one who rested his elbow on my side: "Listen, I'll make a confession to you now." He would probably have told me to keep my confession to myself since we don't know each other. I could add: "But we are so close...". Yes, they are close and even too close, but this closeness does not imply intimacy and does not create it, rather, on the contrary, it repels.

Not the sexual act itself, but strong emotional connection with another person, if she becomes in defiance of relations with her permanent boyfriend or spouse, as well as all subsequent actions from this new relationship that are unfriendly to the former companion - and there is TREASON.

Cheating is a product of a complex of emotional experiences and, as a result, likes, dislikes and actions that arise as a result of them.

And what, then, does adultery have to do with "sexual intercourse"? ... Indeed, everyone understands that it is possible to change, betray, even without sexual intercourse. Just like a short-term and single connection, it may not be a betrayal as such, since it implies pure mechanics, without any serious feelings. But stop! What does sex mean for men and women? Do men and women view sex in the same way?

This is where the main difference lies in male and female infidelity!

The fact is that if for a man, sex is basically a simple satisfaction of sexual needs, then a woman will by no means go to bed with the first comer. She also needs feelings. And where there are feelings for one, there is also ... a betrayal of these feelings for another ...

So what's the difference?
Any psychologist knows that male adultery differs from female adultery in that, unlike female adultery, in male adultery there is often no betrayal itself, or the act of "joining the enemy", as well as a change in feelings or thoughts.

The difference between women's infidelity and men's side trips is that the woman feels an emotional connection to the object of the betrayal. And a man, at least henna, can sleep and forget the next day with whom he slept. The path of a woman to infidelity lies through the rejection of her husband, she begins to attract another. A man, on the contrary, by changing, often improved his attitude towards his wife. That is why women's infidelity is NOT equal to men's. Female adultery is a much more terrible and serious thing. Women's infidelity, unlike men's, is destructive to relationships. The male one is light, superficial and does not destroy either the family or the marriage.

While a man can just have someone on the side and forget the name of his passion the next morning, a woman will not give herself to the first comer, she will choose a man. If another man appears near a woman, then before "give him", a woman must go through a difficult path from indifference to sympathy and giving priority to another man. At the same time, the relationship to the deceived spouse does not remain at the same level. They are getting worse. A woman internally idealizes her lover and demonizes her husband. He begins to treat him, to put it mildly, negatively. Anything can be here, from constant nit-picking, offensive and humiliating comparisons (i.e., bringing your lover as an example), to reducing and even ending sexual relations. Sometimes a horned spouse is poisoned or killed, but more often they are simply abandoned. In most cases, the family is destroyed. Change is change.

In the case of male adultery, the opposite is true. Stuck, spat, forgot and moved on. A man for sex is not looking for a better woman than his wife. Almost anyone will suit him, but he is not going to marry her. Let her character be worse, or she can't cook. For a man, it doesn't matter. The main thing for him is to give, and that's all.I'm not talking about the fact that from sex there are children. Yes, yes ... And if a woman gives birth from a relationship on the side, then the cuckold husband will have to raise these children, and if the offended spouse wants a divorce, then they can easily hang alimony on these children of strangers to him. At the same time, the wife of a "reveler" is unlikely to have to raise and support children who have appeared from her husband's trips to the left, not to mention alimony. You say - "well, this is a rarity." That's the thing, it's not uncommon.

Sensations began five years ago, when the English scientist Robin Baker began to conduct mass genetic testing. At the same time, Robin Baker and his brilliantly electronically equipped group, using the material of 5,000 married English women aged 30 to 40, found that 11% of their children (every ninth child!) Does not belong to the legal father. What a shock the fathers were, you yourself can imagine. Baker's research led to almost two hundred divorces, and hundreds of thousands of English and Americans took their offspring for genetic testing. The results exactly confirmed the findings of Baker's group.

Whether this or that act is permissible or not, we judge by the consequences that will occur after it. But in the case of men's trips to the side, there are no consequences. A man does not change his feelings for a permanent girl, does not begin to treat her badly, and, therefore, does not change. In the case of female infidelity, the consequences for the previous relationship occur, frankly, fatal. Men's campaigns on the side are creative, and women's betrayals are inherently destructive, which is why such a different attitude has been created towards them.

A man attracts women, tries to present himself. A woman chooses a man and then gives herself to him, lives with him, remains faithful to him. Monogamy, fidelity are the properties of a normal woman, and betrayal is contrary to her destiny. A woman should not be a public urn. Just as the male desire for polygamy is the main driver of evolution and serves the survival and development of the species.

In general, if men and women were no different from each other in terms of psychology, physiology and gender role, then I would defend the right of both sexes to the same behavior and the same assessment of their actions. ... But ... We are different. We have different motivations for actions, and, consequently, different assessments of them. What to hide, from time immemorial, a man had to take care of a woman and seek her favor, and whoever pays orders the music. Therefore, we have the privilege of walking. Women have the privilege of choosing their man.

How women change.
To make the difference between a man and a woman clearer, we should consider separately how, why and when women cheat, and in what circumstances they take the side of a man. Let's start with women.

A woman almost always approaches a man with her own measure - “profitable - not profitable”, “needed - not needed”(there is nothing wrong with that - this is how the world works), and she will never admit it to you. Well, a man approaches a woman with his own measure, well, we all know with what ... ;-))

As I already wrote: In order to decide on sex with another man a woman must go through a difficult path from indifference to sympathy and giving priority to another man. And to lead it along this path is sometimes quite difficult. We all know that in order to achieve the favor of ladies, a man must court them and excite them with gifts, wit, beautiful gestures and deeds.

The fact that men cheat can be explained by the fact that they just give in to their instinct a little. What drives women to cheat? According to the study, the majority of unfaithful men consider their marriage quite successful, while the majority of unfaithful wives consider it unhappy.

In a normal relationship with her husband or boyfriend, a woman will never want to cheat on him. A woman only cheats if she does not respect her permanent partner. The reasons for such disrespect can be very different, starting with the fact that a woman may not respect men at all as such, and ending with the fact that the partner himself behaved in such a way that he lost authority in his own family.

Female adultery is an indicator of disrespect for her man, on the part of a woman. And it doesn’t matter whether he deserved this disrespect or not, but if a woman has already cheated, it means that her relationship with a regular partner has given a deep crack.

Women also often cheat for revenge. Most likely, what a girl will do to get revenge on a man is to try to use another man. For example, a girl can set a new lover against an old one. In the event of a successful revenge, the girl will still not be grateful enough to the man, and in case of danger, she will betray her yesterday's ally. Here is a vivid confirmation of the strong female vindictiveness. Only 1.1% of husbands and 10.3% of wives take revenge for cheating on their spouse.

In turn, a woman can change for the sake of selfish gain. Women's whoredom and venality are inseparable. Many girls consciously and prudently strive to live at the expense of men, their money, knowledge and a good attitude towards girls. They want to get as much as possible from a man. Idleness, success and material well-being of girls are paid for by male labor and sweat. Girls use men to satisfy their needs by manipulating them. Corruption is the essence of many women, on which their whole life is built. A girl sells her body, or rather the sexual pleasure that she, as it seems to her, can deliver, for everything that she really wants (money, admiration, etc.). Many girls are only interested in a man's pocket. Corruption and disrespect for men are interrelated concepts.

What keeps a cheating woman next to her husband? Yes, it's the same benefit. We need someone who will take care of the offspring. She cannot count on a lover, but she can easily take better genes from him than her husband.

How men change. Before dissecting male infidelity, I would like to refer to an old anecdote that is said to be based on real events:

As you know, the King of France - Louis, was a very loving monarch. And at the same time he had a wife - the first beauty in all of Paris. Once the cardinal asked him: “Your Majesty, you have such a beautiful wife, but you also have mistresses. Isn't your wife able to fully satisfy your needs?" The king did not answer him anything, but only invited him to dinner. For dinner, the cardinal was served a perfectly cooked turkey, which he loved very much. After eating the turkey, the cardinal received an invitation for tomorrow. The next day he was again served a turkey, and invited again for dinner. This went on for a week. The cardinal came to dinner, and they invariably served him the same thing - a turkey. But as much as the cardinal disliked a well-done turkey, on the seventh day he was already sick of it, and he pleaded: “My sire, do you have anything else?” The king asked him in surprise: “But you love turkey so much!” “But I have been eating it for the seventh day already,” cried the cardinal. To which the king narrowed his eyes and remarked to him - "You see, cardinal, no matter how much you love a turkey, but sometimes you want a bun." ...

Despite the comical nature of the situation, it describes t typical male betrayal. We see that the king does not at all blame the queen for his campaigns to the left, does not blame the fact that “women have already gone wrong”, is not going to leave his wife, but simply ... wants a muffin sometimes...

The phrase “male adultery” itself is rather conditional. Since we have already found out that cheating is betrayal, while sexual intercourse is just sex, then a male campaign to the side does not in its essence mean treason, since it does not carry an act of betrayal. To go left, a man does not have to be disappointed in his wife or fall head over heels in love with his mistress. For a man, sex on the side is just a mechanical act, a short-term pleasure that does not leave far-reaching consequences in terms of changing the attitude towards his permanent girlfriend. ... An explosion of passions is not necessary for men to change, a pronounced IMPERSONAL DESIRE is enough for us. With a few connections on the side, a man is quite capable sincerely love your wife. A wise man once said: a woman, if she loves, sees her whole life in this, dissolves in her beloved. And for a man, love is a part of his life. Most, a huge part, but not all. This is because men's life is more complicated than women's, it contains more in itself, contains more in itself.

Women are very fond of laughing at a man's interest in a woman, i.e. over our basic instinct (“males”, “womanizers”, etc.). But after all, for some reason it doesn’t occur to us to laugh at their basic instinct - motherhood. Being mad at a man for his love of women is like being mad at an elephant for being so big. He's not to blame... So after all, that's why they laugh, because you need to somehow protect yourself from the main thing that attracts you so much.

Girls, believe me, if a man cheats (periodically, not with a permanent partner), this does NOT indicate in any way that something is wrong with you. Everything is so with you, and he “travels” from your culinary preparation, and from how you dress, and from how you behave in society, and from what you are in bed. And at one moment he thinks - yo, but I'll go and try new sensations. He goes and tries. Then she comes home and SINCERELY TOTALLY thinks - Lord, what a clever girl I have. And he completely forgets about the one with whom he cheated yesterday.

Feminists often say that by cheating, a man asserts himself. This statement was invented to inspire us: a man is cattle, for whom a woman is not a person, but a trophy, while sexual intercourse is the scalp of a killed enemy. In fact, this is only partially true. Walking to the left, a man not so much asserts himself as realizes his natural instinct. Of course, success with the opposite sex increases self-esteem, but is it only for men? Aren't women satisfied when their fans tell them they look good, give them flowers and show them affection? ... We all like to please, but only in men, unlike women, this process does not affect his attitude towards his permanent partner. Men rarely go to their mistresses. There are such cases, but they are extremely few. Usually it doesn't go beyond sex. And this difference makes male adultery forgivable, but not female.
Here's what the men themselves say:

P., businessman“It is impossible to live without women in the world, no: I love them, women, but I have a wife, I am devoted to her. On the side? But how! But! The wife will never know about this - why hurt her? You have to know how to live and enjoy life. And so that one does not interfere with the other?

E., clerk“Women: They are interesting, they decorate the life of a man! I love their company, what's wrong with that? But do not confuse family and women. Family, wife - one, and women ... They should be there, they should be admired and preferably possessed. Without it, life will be boring. Let's just say that without it, there will be no life!

SO, polygamy - no, many Women - yes! Practice shows that with age in men, this theory only strengthens its position. And, strangely enough, only a small part of men strive to go to the registry office with each new woman. A wife is sacred, and there is no falsehood in this statement. A woman, like a country, like an honor, like a planet, is one, constant, but she alone is not enough for happiness. By having a mistress, a man even improves his attitude towards his wife. A mistress for a man is not another, but a second.

Statistics, facts, figures.
However, as Pierre Buast said - "The source of true knowledge is in facts." Any theory is dry and fruitless until it is supported by facts. Therefore, we decided to conduct a small survey in order to determine whether men and women really change in different ways? And is it true that the consequences of their campaigns to the left are different?

The survey results speak for themselves. Even if they had feelings for their mistress, only a small part of the men left their girlfriends, while in women in half the cases, the connection on the side ended in the collapse of the previous relationship.

Why are we different? Perhaps the main difficulty during the search is in the different psychology of men and women. For a girl, a relationship with a guy is inspired by unquenchable romance, “music of gentle words” and, of course, imagining herself as a future wife, mistress. Sex seems to her to be something secondary, rather a tool for strengthening relationships and, in part, manipulating her chosen one.

What about, young man? In his view, romance is limited to going to the cinema, or, say, a cafe. Sex dominates so much that sometimes a guy thinks only with his head, but not the one on his shoulders. Talking about family, for him, is tantamount to a shot in the back. This is understandable, because while you are single, the whole world is in your “bed”, but as soon as you put a ring on your finger, obligations appear. It's hard, isn't it?

But why do men and women have different attitudes towards sex? ... This happens because we are arranged differently. This is how nature has made us. We think, feel, fall in love and look for our soul mate - completely different.

People have long noticed that "a man needs only one thing, but from many women, and a woman needs a lot, but from one man." Why is that?

The polygamous nature of a man is a fact. The desire to have the maximum number of sexual intercourse with the maximum number of women is inherent in nature. This is instinct. Why do we even want to have sex? Why are we drawn to each other? Why has nature divided us into two sexes? Why two and not three, four or one?

sex drive- this is a component of the instinct of reproduction, given to a person for procreation ... Its manifestations are the effect on the body of hormones - chemicals produced by the pancreas and adrenal glands, which cause changes in the work of the heart (such as increased heart rate, etc.), and general excitement. As a result of the action of hormones (insulin and adrenaline, which in turn activates neuropeptides), the production of cortisol, a hormone that causes stress, is suppressed, as a result of which the overall emotional state improves, and the work of the body as a whole is stimulated. Regular exposure to hormones leads to psychological and physiological dependence. The next component of the reproductive instinct is to attract a partner for reproduction. The selection of a partner depends on many different parameters, such as psychological, physiological and genetic compatibility. Only with relatively complete compatibility can offspring that do not have significant deviations be partially guaranteed (this is also influenced by the state of the environment and lifestyle). The ultimate goal of the life of any living being is the continuation of the race - this is a necessity to prevent the extinction of mankind.

It should be looked at soberly: Without the male instinct to have as many women as possible and the same desire of women to have offspring from a strong and promising man, the very idea of ​​\u200b\u200bevolution would be impossible. And we would have died out a long time ago.

Interestingly: a man can in his life fertilize at least a million females who will have children from him, as they say, until he is erased. While a woman, even if she goes chronically pregnant all her life, will be able to give birth only a limited number of times, and will not recruit even 30 men as biological fathers to her children. Just not in time, as her childbearing age ends. Compare a million and 30, has nature really endowed men and women with such a difference? ... Nature itself tells us - "you are a man to inseminate as many women as possible, and you are a woman - do not rush, choose first, and be faithful." With a regular sex life, the average man ejects 300 million spermatozoa into a woman. A man releases up to 600 million spermatozoa into a new partner. This is a medical fact. And now think, in the case of a relationship with a new partner, the possibility of healthy offspring doubles, since already at the initial stage, competition among spermatozoa doubles! ...

These are biology, physiology and psychology. Any living being strives to continue its kind. This is a wonderful property that nature has endowed us with. To make us want this, she even came up with such a thing as an orgasm. Hunting would be for men, and women especially, to suffer, whenever it does not bring any pleasure.

And this same nature made it so that a woman (female) seeks to find the best man (male) and have offspring from him. She needs one, but perfect male (each female - and this is already a human trait) - her own concept of perfection (because animals are primarily looking for physically strong ones - in order to survive). And the female, having found such perfection of hers, clings to him and holds.

The task of the male is completely different. He must leave as many offspring as possible. He cares less about quality than about quantity. Why? He thinks more simply. He is not going to seek the only perfection. By impregnating many, he rightly expects that while some of his offspring may die, another part will remain. Accordingly, the more females he gives birth to, the more likely it is that his family will continue. Why can't it be the other way around? Because the female, when the cubs are born, feeds them. She is next to them. She cannot dump to another male. Otherwise they will die.

Little of. A man can have many women, and this will not affect his health in any way. Unless it only gets better. If a woman often changes sexual partners, then in her body, under the influence of microflora and sperm from various partners, sperm rejection reactions begin. Often such women suffer from infertility. Such women, in order to give birth, indulge in all serious things, change men like gloves, hoping to find a kind of bull-inseminator, but this only makes them worse. A good example is Madonna. I couldn't give birth for a long time. Until the doctors directly pointed out to her the cause of infertility in her promiscuous sex life.
And not in vain, a man who has several sexual "relations" is perceived in society as a strong, dominant male. While a walking woman is perceived as a bad mother, not taking care of her offspring and "giving" to anyone. The first causes understanding, the second condemnation. And this is true - this is the law of life, thanks to which we exist today.

The lion, becoming the head of the pride, kills the cubs of the “first lady”, so that all the offspring come from him. I want to remind you that the goal of the male is the maximum spread of his seed, and the upbringing of "strangers" is too much contrary to the principle of the survival of the fittest. Can you imagine that the strongest and most viable would be engaged in raising weak and sick cubs? Who did this at the initial stages of evolution has long since died out.
However, let's imagine for a moment that the incredible happened - men became monogamous, and faithful. What awaits us (human society) in this case? ... I will not even go into the fact that such men will be sexually passive, they will no longer care for a woman (or do it very sluggishly). They will not look for a sexual object in it (girls, they will simply stop wanting you, and will no longer pay attention to all your mini-bikinis). They will stop competing with each other for your favor, writing poems and music in your honor... In a word, they will turn from men into “something” asexual, which will have male genitals, but will not be a man. But the main thing is not even that.
If we men are forced to be monogamous - humanity will simply degenerate in this case. After all, the whole evolution rests on the fact that the strongest, the smartest, the most inventive, the most agile, the most witty win. And if each Tamara, give a pair? Not only strong men will have children, but also downs, worthless and gray personalities. ... However, what am I talking about? There will be no strong men at all, because they will become monogamous - like women. ... Or maybe this is already happening?

But what about women? However, here I may be asked the question: “Stop. All this is interestingly written, but don't women take part in natural selection? Don't they also have the right to sort through men, looking for an alpha male? And in this way, do not female infidelities serve the evolution and survival of the species? ...
A tricky question, but it actually has a very simple answer.

Genetically, a woman cannot be stronger, as well as weaker, she is genetically stable, and men have a different “concert”. Over the course of life, the body of a man adapts to the influence of the environment, whether it is beneficial or vice versa aggressive, in order to then pass on this information at the gene level to his children for better survival of subsequent generations. This is not given to women, because a man is considered the successor of the family, and not a woman.

Yes, women also take part in the process of natural selection. Yes, they can also touch men. Little of. Women choose, not men. But all their choices, still going on before going to bed with the chosen man. Flirting, seduction, sex, it's all happening already after that like a woman chose. And, therefore, a woman who already has a partner, i.e. already made her choice and, nevertheless, continues to offer himself to other men - acts unnaturally, badly, treacherously. This behavior of hers either indicates that she is a fool and has chosen a bad male, or that she is a walking woman, a bad mother who does not care about the quality of her offspring.

We are reasonable people...
And here a second serious objection may arise: “But we are reasonable people, humans, Homo sapiens, finally! We are mastering outer space and atomic energy. Isn't it stupid for us to refer to some kind of monkey instincts, and even more so, to explain our behavior with them?

Serious, at first glance, objection. But the answer to it is as simple as the previous one. Word " INSTINCT” is used in everyday life as a symbol of everything vile, everything bad in a person. Instincts are recommended to be hidden and suppressed. Instinct is opposed to morality and reason.

In fact, the word instinct has a different meaning. They designate innate programs of behavior. You can assemble a very complex computer, but until it is provided with programs, it is just a useless pile of hardware. Programs are the instincts of the computer. The same applies to the brain. To start acting, he needs programs: how to recognize problems and how to solve them, how to learn and what to learn. The animal is born with these programs, with a large set of very complex and subtle programs.

Behavioral programs (instincts) are transmitted with genes from generation to generation, they are created by natural selection, endlessly combining small, simple blocks into new systems in different ways. Combinations are tested in the fates - happy and unhappy - of millions of individuals. Unsuccessful programs are culled with the death of an individual, successful ones multiply. This is natural selection.

Instincts are developed slowly - as long as new organs, and, having become unnecessary, are rebuilt or destroyed no faster than morphological adaptations - the number of fingers, the shape of the beak, the structure of the teeth.
Our ancestors were no less instinctive than any other animal. Many of the instincts that a person inherited not only did not have time to collapse, but moreover, they will never disappear!!! Because they are needed, because they still serve, forming the foundation of a new, rational activity. It did not develop from scratch, but from innate programs (needs). None of us is filled with shame because we are all born and die like animals. Why, then, be ashamed that in many of our passions and actions we are guided by instinct?

Human instincts never go anywhere. Only the vital energy of a person can weaken. A weak and frail person will have a weak and frail manifestation of instinct.

If you infringe on nature, then nature will infringe on you! Have you seen at least one truly happy (without a decrease in the level of claims) person who would not live in accordance with his nature?

Indeed, we belong to the species Homo sapiens - reasonable person. We invented writing and the wheel, set foot on the moon and looked into the depths of the atom. And yet, in terms of reproduction, we have not yet come up with anything better than this is what nature created us to be. In "bed" matters, we have not departed too much from our hairy ancestors. We're still having sex, flirting, showing off in front of girls, and chasing skirts. In a word, we act as our instincts tell us. But is it as bad as it looks at first glance? And does instinctive behavior always speak of our unreasonableness?...
Instincts are a great blessing and a constant companion of any reasonable person. And the fact that we have instincts and reflexes does not mean that we are stupid and unreasonable. Imagine a situation where you had to think about each inhalation and exhalation, or work out in detail how you would take each step. “Yeah, now I lift my left leg, now I shift the center of gravity of my body a little forward, now I step on the ground, oh, now everything should be repeated with the right foot.” :-) ...Funny, isn't it?

Instincts and reflexes imperceptibly serve us every day, forcing us to do mechanically what, in general, we should not think about. Instincts work for us, do all the dirty work for us, allow us to act correctly and accurately without being distracted by trifles, and even save our lives. Whenever we unthinkingly close our eyes in front of a branch whipping in the face, withdraw our hand from a hot frying pan, or press the brake in front of an obstacle, we act instinctively, and thus our eyes and hands are intact. Isn't it very reasonable.

Without the instincts of self-preservation and procreation, the very existence of a reasonable person would be impossible. If every time we fell into long reflections about the meaning of life when we cross the street, and a truck rushes at us, or in the middle of sexual intercourse we suddenly asked our girlfriend - “Honey, are we doing the right thing that I put this thing in you ?”, then this would hardly speak of our reasonableness. There is a good anecdote on this subject, when a matchmaker teaches a newly-made husband - "The main thing is to lie down in bed, and mother nature will help there."

As for fidelity as such, fidelity itself says nothing about rationality. As - fidelity, the same instinct as polygamy, and at a certain stage also simply fulfills its task - for example, allows us to become attached to each other until the children are put on their feet. There are examples in nature when animals remain faithful to each other until death, but this does not make their actions reasonable.

Another thing is that a person differs from an animal in that he can control his instincts. Study them, understand their nature, and even, if it's necessary, go against them. But only if it's really needed. So a parent can sacrifice his life to save his child, or a guy can reasonably ignore a girl who he likes outwardly, but does not fit due to other circumstances, such as a bad temper. A man differs from an animal in that he has a will, can control his instincts and feelings, oh only when he needs it, and not just like that.

It is necessary to feel and realize your nature, but it is also unacceptable to remove responsibility for everything that happens in life. G

There is an opinion that males cheat on their halves much more often. But it's not. Girls are also often caught cheating. The reasons for this can be very different: from banal physiological to deep psychological ones. To understand, you should analyze the relationship with a woman. Often the husband himself is to blame for the betrayal of his wife, but sometimes this happens regardless of the relationship in the family.

Important! If you have a smartphone, you can earn money anytime! How? Get 5 ways to work part-time relevant for October 2019 Read →

Why do women cheat on their spouses?

As mentioned above, the reasons for a woman's infidelity can be different. The most common of them include:

• Falling in love with another man. A popular cause of female infidelity is feelings for a male representative. A girl in love with a young man will not miss the opportunity to get close to the object of her sigh. Even the most faithful and devoted women are capable of having sexual relationships on the side. Often, betrayal continues for a long time, as the spouse is afraid to confess what she has done, to destroy a long marriage, to break the union with her close and close husband, offending and insulting him.
• Sexual dissatisfaction. Some women are able to look for intimate relationships on the side if the husband does not satisfy them. Some girls perceive sex as something only physiological, separated from love. Therefore, intimacy with another guy for them is not a betrayal. Someone simply does not advertise the relationship on the side, not seeing this as a problem, while others carefully hide it for a long time, wanting to both save the marriage and lead a quality sex life.
• Bad relationships within the family, eternal conflicts and quarrels. If relations with her husband have gone wrong, mutual understanding and trust have disappeared, then the girl can commit adultery. Sometimes the desire for psychological comfort arises unconsciously. And a woman, having found a person who shares her emotions and experiences, can be very carried away by him. Often the girl herself perceives this as falling in love. But usually this is only a desire for psychological peace, support, understanding from a male representative.
• Revenge to the spouse for his betrayal and betrayal. This option, oddly enough, is also not uncommon. A woman who loves her husband is able to forgive his betrayal. But deep down, she cannot come to terms with the fact of betrayal by a loved one, does not accept this situation, does not leave it in the past. This pushes the spouse to reciprocate infidelity.
• The need to feel one's own sexuality. This option is possible if the marriage has existed for many years. A woman does not feel desirable, beautiful, sexy, as a man ceases to see these qualities in her. Usually cheating due to lack of attention from the spouse occurs at a more mature age.

It is worth sharing betrayal due to sexual dissatisfaction and because of feelings for another person. The difference between them is enormous. The first say that a woman is interested in intimacy. The second is that she loves a man and wants to be with him.

By what signs can you find out about the infidelity of a woman?

A girl who has intimacy on the side will differ in behavior, do things that are atypical for herself, keep back and hide anything from her husband, even indirectly related to another man.

Signs by which you can doubt the fidelity of your wife:

• She tries to look better than usual, trying to become more attractive to her partner on the side.
• Stays late from work or suddenly leaves home for no reason.
• Her mood changes randomly: the woman is suddenly upset or happy, although nothing is happening at home. This may indicate her relationship with her lover.
• Loses interest in the spouse, his affairs, as well as sexual intimacy.

You should not wind yourself up once again, believing that if a spouse is late at work or refuses sex, then this is a sign of her infidelity . In some situations, the wife may behave differently due to bad mood, fatigue, and other factors. You should doubt the fidelity of a woman only if a man notices several signs at once that indicate a change in the girl's behavior.

How to prevent wife's infidelity?

To prevent discord in the family due to female infidelity, it is worth maintaining a warm relationship in a couple. A wife should feel loved, needed, desired. It is very important to maintain trust and understanding in marriage, to convince a woman that she has no one closer to her husband and cannot be.

What you should pay attention to:

• intimate relationships. Over time, any sex turns into a routine. Under no circumstances should this be allowed. It is important not only to diversify sexual intercourse, but also to make it more sensual. First of all, a girl should discharge emotionally, receive love and tenderness from her husband. To solve this problem, if any, you should talk frankly with your spouse, find out if she wants to try something new, if she has enough in sex.
• The appearance of a man. If the wife takes care of her body, then the husband should not look bad against her background. Many men stop taking care of themselves, especially in adulthood. But this cannot be allowed.
• The way the wife feels. Marriage is built on mutual understanding, respect, trust and moral support. It is necessary to devote time and experiences of your soulmate. Seeing the complete indifference on the part of her husband, the girl will begin to look for a person who could understand her. This can develop into a relationship with another man. You can not neglect the condition of a loved one. But fanaticism should also not be reached: if a woman convinces that everything is fine, or simply does not want to share her problems, then there is no need to interrogate her.
• own behavior. All people can be nervous, irritable, tired from time to time, but you can’t vent your emotions on the closest person. Even the most understanding and devoted girl will sooner or later stop enduring psychological pressure from her other half. There should always be a harmonious mood in the family, all scandals, quarrels and conflicts should be tried to minimize.

It is unlikely that a man will be able to prevent falling in love with another person. But he can support his wife's love for himself, showing by his behavior that she was not mistaken in her choice when she got married. If, over the course of many years of marriage, people do not stop loving each other, and the relationship in a couple is as warm as before, then it is unlikely that a woman will look at other males.

Judging by the heated discussion of my previous post on social networks, I realized that the issue of infidelity is a burning one, especially given the ambiguous perception of my point of view on male infidelity by a certain part of the audience. Therefore, I continue this topic, but this time I want to talk about the male view of female infidelity. As they say, every coin has two sides...

I met last week with one of my good friends, let's call her Christina. Christina is quite happy in marriage, and she is convinced that her marriage is successful and prosperous: her husband is constantly busy at work, he occupies a certain post. According to Christina, in many respects the success of her marriage depends on the presence of permanent novels over the past three years (out of 10 lived together). Her novels, which, again, according to Christina, help her maintain an excellent relationship with her husband, do not "shine", do not take out his brains, do not check the phone and stay in a great mood.

Her latest novel is a certain young artist who is not burdened either by difficult work that clogs the brain, or by a family, or by excessive moral values, let's call him Yegor. As you know, the best lovers are pool cleaners and pizza deliverymen and other representatives of "non-dusty" professions from the service sector.
So, once Egor and Christina went to a famous metropolitan restaurant. They met there at lunchtime: they are sitting, talking, butterflies in their stomachs, the weather is beautiful, the mood is wonderful, aquariums are part of the decor of the restaurant - very beautiful. But then Christina raises her eyes and sees behind the glass wall the figure of her husband, who looks at them with Yegor with burning eyes. The offended husband waited for a couple at the exit. Next - an ugly scene with a fight, during which the artist was forced to retreat, tears, hysteria, pleas for forgiveness, threats of divorce, which was not part of Christina's plans. And here she is sitting in front of me with this story and the question: "What should I do next?"

As it turned out, it was no coincidence that Christina's husband ended up in this institution. He suspected her for a long time, tracked her down, and as it turned out, contrary to Christina's opinion, her husband takes female infidelity very seriously.
Well, what could I say to my friend? "A good leftist makes a marriage stronger." This phrase was invented by men, and sometimes it is true - but only if it concerns us men. It is difficult for me to analyze the causes of female infidelity, this is a matter of psychology - the reason may be the lack of attention, sex, gifts, money, sometimes even the desire to take revenge. But for me personally, the betrayal of my woman means the end. Betrayal. Lack of prospects for further relations. It's a matter of time before it's all over. For a man, female infidelity is a more terrible thing than you, dear women, can imagine, for a number of reasons. And here are the main ones:
a woman does it with her heart and head (unless, of course, "drunk" sex is thrown out of the scheme). The fair sex for the most part do not know how to engage in "insensitive" sex;
if she changed, then you were removed from the pedestal. And even if it was supposed to be just a one-night stand, a woman will never agree with this and will try to turn the relationship into a full-fledged romance. The woman herself will come up with "reciprocal feelings", even if they were not in sight, and then she herself will believe in what she invented;

a woman cheats when everything is bad, worse than ever, nothing can be fixed. She runs where she feels good. And if she cheated, then you have a specific crisis in your relationship;
she attaches great importance to betrayal - this is a step for her, an act that should change her life;
a woman will most likely tell you everything - you will find out about it one way or another. And it doesn’t matter what kind of relationship you had at that moment. If bad, he will tell or make you know about everything - out of a sense of revenge. If they are good, they will still tell, but out of a sense of pity. She will feel ashamed, she will want to throw all the responsibility on another;
a woman will study and compare you and her lover, and this comparison will always not be in your favor, because on his side are her butterflies in her stomach, and on yours is all the homespun truth of the relationship;
By cheating on you, a woman opens up to something new. She becomes strong, decisive and takes the first step towards parting. And that means she's ready to leave forever.

And one more important point - how women themselves relate to those who forgive them infidelity. To illustrate, I will quote from the work of Somerset Maugham: “My first husband, Captain Johnson, constantly beat me. He was a real man. bruises and bruises. Oh, how I cried when he died. I thought that I would not survive him. But I really learned the price of my loss only when I married George Rainey. To know a person, you need to eat a pound of salt with him. "I've never been more disappointed in my life. Rainey was also a prominent man. A little shorter than Captain Johnson and looking strong. But only on the outside. He didn't take alcohol in his mouth. He never hit me. He should have been a missionary. I had affairs." with the officers of all the ships that entered our harbor, and George Rainey did not notice anything. In the end I became unbearable, and I divorced him. Why is such a husband needed? It's terrible how some men treat women. "

Of course, this is a story from the past, when beatings were perceived as a norm of life and an expression of a man’s attitude, but the essence of the problem is the same - first of all, a woman must respect the person with whom she builds her relationship. Therefore, more often than not, the woman you have forgiven will wake up one morning and begin to feel contempt for you. She will never be able to forgive you ... her betrayal, because no matter what anyone says, her man is to blame for the betrayal of a woman. A man will always be both a consequence and a cause of a woman's infidelity.

My conclusion is simple: one way or another, cheating on a woman means the end of the relationship, so if you love your woman, you must do everything to prevent it. Love her, pamper her, surround her with care, give flowers not only on March 8, remember her birthday, be indulgent about her weaknesses.
And if betrayal did happen, you don’t need to collect the pieces of the relationship. Learn to let go. Continuation of the topic on my Instagram page.

Your woman suddenly began to look like a goddess? Doesn’t get you on trifles and doesn’t get jealous, even when there is a reason? It's time to sound the alarm, most likely she has a secret admirer! But do not rush to despair, our material will tell you about the causes of the family drama and how to improve relations with the second half.

Everyone is accustomed to the popular belief that men are pushed onto the path of infidelity by the notorious polygamy and mostly they change in a couple, but recently statistics show that women have begun to sin no less. What pushes the beautiful half of humanity to put their family at risk and allow themselves adultery?

Indeed, there is a huge difference between male and female infidelity. For men, for the most part, betrayal is just the call of the flesh and the satisfaction of sexual needs, but if a woman decides on a romantic relationship on the side, everything is much worse, most likely, the marriage has already seriously cracked. But in any case, betrayal by either side is an extremely bad situation. So says the sexologist and program director of the Secrets sex education center Valeria Aginskaya.

Photo by Getty Images

More than 50% of women cheat on their men

According to statistics, more than half of the women on Earth cheat on their men! And of course, the stronger sex is to blame for this, who likes to quickly relax in relationships after the lady of the heart is conquered.

At first he was so attentive, caring, gave gifts, courted, but now he sits in an armchair in front of the TV, scratches his belly and does not pay any attention to you. This situation is familiar to many ...

Positive emotions, joy, a sense of euphoria play an important role in a woman's life. She needs to know and feel how she is loved and appreciated.

Unlike men, for whom infidelity can be attributed to the attraction of the flesh and a fleeting impulse, most women go to change far from immediately, but after a long wait from the partner for the manifestation of at least some emotionality. And if they despair of waiting and a man appears who gives them signs of attention and gives them emotions, betrayal happens.

The second most popular cause of female infidelity is dissatisfaction with sex. They usually cheat on sexually illiterate and selfish partners who do not think about female satisfaction, and even if a woman does not talk about it out loud, resentment and indignation will continue to accumulate until sooner or later it will result in treason.

Photo by Getty Images

Signs of female infidelity

The main signs of female infidelity can be considered a sharp change in behavior and emotional background. If earlier she tried to achieve something from a man, draw attention to herself, discuss any issues or make plans for joint events, now she tries in every possible way to avoid spending time together, new hobbies appear that do not require the presence of a loved one.

Also, a woman abruptly begins to take care of her appearance and figure much more than before. She begins to update the wardrobe, especially underwear, can change perfume, gestures and speech expressions, as we unconsciously copy the behavior patterns of the person we feel sympathy for. Sometimes women cannot hold back their emotions and may start to cry, seemingly out of the blue, living with guilt is a rather difficult task.

Photo by Getty Images

More cheating on weak men

By weak men are meant selfish, insecure, not keeping promises, abandoning their undertakings halfway through, and so on. That is, all those whom a woman cannot count on in the future.

Women want their cheating to be exposed

Unlike men, women are better at hiding the truth and thinking through alibis more competently, as they pay much more attention to detail in whatever they do. But on a subconscious level, many of the fair sex want this betrayal to be revealed, and therefore come across on trifles. After all, as we mentioned earlier, unlike men, women are pushed to cheat by the lack of emotions in their relationship.

Thus, they want to punish the betrothed and prove to him and to themselves that a woman can still evoke emotions in other men.

Cheating can be a lifeline in a fading relationship

According to some sexologists, sometimes cheating on one of the partners can be a lifeline in a fading relationship, and women who do not get an orgasm are often advised to find a lover, but the opposite conclusion can be drawn. For a short period of time, this may cause renewed emotions in a couple, but in the long run, guilt and resentment will sooner or later corrode this relationship.

Photo by Getty Images

Psychologist's advice

The main reason for a woman's betrayal is that her man stopped paying attention to her, she no longer feels like a woman. Over time, family life is drawn deeper and deeper into everyday routine, and not only a man ceases to show signs of attention to a woman and sees in her only a housewife and mother of her children, but a woman also ceases to admire her husband and push him to be a gallant gentleman and an ardent lover. To avoid this, it is necessary to periodically introduce novelty and variety into relationships and arrange romantic days when you give your children to your parents, forget for a while about all pressing matters and devote yourself to each other, impromptu in this area are also welcome.

The second common cause is dissatisfaction in the sexual sphere. The lion's share of women never tells her man that he does not suit her in some way in bed. This is a huge mistake. Believe me, most men want to please their women, are willing to do a lot for this and quite adequately perceive positive criticism and guidance on how to give more pleasure to their woman. But women, because of their complexes and fears, do themselves a disservice by hiding their dissatisfaction, because their men are in a blissful confidence that they are the best lovers.

Also, some women find it difficult to say how exactly they will be more pleasant and from what they are able to experience a strong orgasm. But this problem also has a solution - talk to your partner, explore your sexuality together, and as a result, not only will you finally enjoy sex, but your partner will only be happy about the juicy change in your intimate life.

Believe me, any woman can discover many erogenous zones and learn how to get fantastic orgasms, for this you need to study your body and learn the sexual sciences. Currently, there are a lot of courses and trainings where you can learn a lot of interesting things in sexual terms and significantly diversify your sex life.

The third reason, many call revenge on the cheating spouse. Yes, no one argues that treason is very painful and insulting. If this has already happened and you are so unpleasant that you are ready to take revenge, it is better to immediately put an end to these relationships and start new ones, save your nerves. The topic of male infidelity is worth a separate consideration, we will not talk about it now, we will only add that if these relationships are dear to you and you want to keep them, talk to your husband and find out what prompted him to take this step.

First of all, try to mutually establish a dialogue with your spouse. Both on his part and on yours, there should be a desire to maintain relations - or there is no point in further movements. And most importantly, remember that cheating is extremely difficult to forgive, relationships will never be the same, so it’s better to avoid cheating at all costs.