My wife does not allow me to see my child because of psychology. My wife forbids me to see my child - what should I do? Trial and judgment

Russian family legislation provides that the divorce of spouses does not affect their parental rights and responsibilities. After a divorce, the mother and father must still provide financially for the minor and create conditions for his upbringing and development. Both have the right to see the child, spend time with him and take part in deciding issues of his education, treatment, and recreation.

However, after the termination of family relations, the ex-wife often does not allow it, or without serious reasons for this. According to the Family Law of Russia, parents can resolve a controversial issue regarding communication with a child in two ways:

In both cases, first of all, the interests of the child must be taken into account. If the mother of a minor prevents him from communicating with his father or other relatives, they have the right to go to the guardianship and trusteeship authorities or the court.

The father's right to communicate with his child after divorce

After the dissolution of a marriage, common children are much more likely to remain living with their mother than with their father. Despite this, the former spouse has the right to see and communicate with the offspring at any time. convenient time for him and them. The father can receive information about the minor from medical, educational and social institutions (clause 4 of article 66 of the RF IC).

To protect the rights of both parents and their common children after a divorce, former spouses may enter into agreement, which will indicate all agreements regarding their common children. This document is certified by a notary and presented at the court hearing. The agreement may include the following points:

• communication schedule father and child (you can specify certain days and hours on which the parent and child will spend time together, with whom the minor will spend holidays);
• in what territory meetings will take place (sometimes the ex-wife insists that the young child not visit her husband’s apartment, where his new family lives);
• whether his friends or new wife can accompany the father.

However, legally the father has the right to see the child in any conditions comfortable for both of them. If the ex-wife does not have serious arguments against this, he can take the child for the weekend, communicate on his territory and spend several days in a row with the minor. Also, the parent has the opportunity to travel with the children without the presence of the ex-wife.

Can an ex-wife prohibit seeing her child?

According to the Family Law of the Russian Federation, after divorce, neither parent has the right to prevent the other from communicating with their common children. It is in the child's best interest to receive attention, see and be raised by both parents. Therefore, spouses raising common children only occurs. At the hearing, the husband and wife provide, if there is no such agreement, then the child’s place of residence and the procedure for his communication with his parents are determined by the court.

Despite the court decision or agreements reached, after the termination of family relations, the ex-wife often interferes. Legally, the mother does not have the right to do this without compelling reasons.

Circumstances under which a spouse may not allow her ex-husband to meet with her child are considered to be:

• aggressive behavior of a parent that may cause moral or emotional harm to the minor;
• father’s addictions (alcoholism, drug addiction, gambling addiction);
• psychological pressure of a parent on a minor (confirmed evidence that the father is turning the child against the mother or her relatives);
• the child’s categorical refusal to communicate and see his father.

These cases are necessarily considered during the court hearing and may serve as a reason for limit opportunities father to meet with children. In other circumstances, the influence and upbringing of both parents is necessary for the child, and the ex-spouse cannot interfere with communication with father.

• Answer a few simple questions and get a selection of site materials for your case ↙

What's your gender

Select your gender.

Your answer progress

Where to go if your ex-wife won't let you see your child?

If, after the termination of the marital relationship, the ex-wife prevents the father from seeing the children, he can protect his interests by contacting to the guardianship authorities or court. To do this, you need to create statement of claim and submit it to district court at the place of residence of the defendant (he will be the ex-wife). This application is drawn up in free form, but must contain the following mandatory information:

• the name of the court to which the plaintiff applies;
• information about both sides of the dispute;
• the requirement to determine a time and place of communication with children that is comfortable for him and for the parent;
• set of documents.

According to Art. 78 of the RF IC, employees of the guardianship authorities and the child’s teachers are involved in the hearings. They not only inspect the housing of the plaintiff and defendant, but also communicate with the child himself and witnesses. The conclusions of these experts on the emotional situation, children’s attachment to their parents and living conditions will be taken into account by the court.

Before the court hearing, the father will need to collect evidence that his ex-wife is interfering with his communication with the children. They can be:

• witness's testimonies;
• correspondence with the spouse;
• information provided by the child during a preliminary conversation with a psychologist.

In most cases, the court will side with the plaintiff and determine a binding schedule for meetings between the minor and the parent.

Concluding an agreement on the procedure for communicating with a child

Both before and during court hearings, the spouses will be asked to independently resolve the dispute about the children and conclude settlement agreement. It has legal force. It is possible to notarize the agreement, but it is not necessary. Judicial practice shows that it is worth contacting a notary if it contains agreements regarding alimony obligations.

The document is submitted to the court by the plaintiff and may contain detailed information about the agreements. For example, the agreement can be expanded with clauses on the possibility of a joint holiday for each of the parents with the child, taking him abroad, and meeting the new spouses of the parents. You can also specify in the agreement the order of communication between the child and other relatives: grandparents, stepbrothers and sisters.

Concluding a settlement agreement has undeniable advantages that each party must realize:

• taking into account the interests of the child(parental agreements will allow the child, despite the divorce, to communicate with both his mother and father);
• time saving(hearings with the participation of teachers, guardianship and trusteeship authorities may take several months, and if an agreement is concluded, a court decision may be made at the first meeting);
• no conflict(a calm discussion of agreements will help parents overcome grievances and act together in the future, focusing only on the interests of minors).

However, if a settlement agreement is concluded at one of the stages of the legal proceedings, the parties cannot re-apply to the court on the same issues. Statement of claim, according to Art. 221 of the Civil Procedure Code will be rejected.

Determining the order of meetings with the child through the court

If a settlement agreement cannot be reached, the schedule of communication and meetings between the father and the children is determined directly by the judge based on the evidence presented. In this situation, the decision will reflect a mandatory procedure indicating the days and territory in which the former spouse will be able to see the children.

Most often, children over three years old can spend every second weekend of the month with their father and travel with their parent once a year. If the child is less than three years old, then meetings usually take place in the presence of the mother. The older a minor becomes, the longer his meetings with his father can be without the presence of his mother.

After the court decision is made, the spouses are given one month to appeal it. If this does not happen, the established procedure comes into force. If the mother of the child continues to interfere with meetings with the father even after the completion of the trial, the following measures may be applied to her.

Question:Good evening! Tell me what to do, please. I haven’t seen my child (7-year-old daughter) for a year, because her mother hid her. I filed a lawsuit regarding the order of communication between father and daughter. The trials went on for a year. He won all the trials. The last one was in September 2009 (city court). Now I see my daughter every second and fourth weekend + 1/2 vacation.

1. “the father can visit his daughter at her place of residence at least once a week to communicate and monitor the progress of the educational process”;
2. “to oblige the child’s mother to promptly issue written permission for the child to travel on vacation outside the Russian Federation.”
   

I leave statements with the bailiff, but this does not bring results. He only has conversations with her. The child’s mother just calls and curses and turns her daughter against me. WHAT TO DO?

I would gladly take my daughter in and take care of her. I have a higher education, I don’t drink or smoke. I am an adequate person. I have an educated young wife. My daughter has a good relationship with her. My wife agrees that our daughter should live with us. Help. I don't want to lose my daughter!!!

Irina Gileta, lawyer, answers:

Hello. Unfortunately, your situation is quite common. However, often people simply give up and put up with the current circumstances.

I would advise you, firstly, to pay attention to the actions of the bailiffs. What does it mean that the bailiff only conducts conversations? The main task of the bailiff is to ensure the execution of the issued judicial act!

Secondly, there are other legal proceedings that you may well initiate in this situation. According to Article 66 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation, a parent living separately from the child has the right to communicate with the child, participate in his upbringing and resolve issues regarding the child’s education. The parent with whom the child lives should not interfere with the child’s communication with the other parent, if such communication does not harm the child’s physical and mental health or his moral development. If the parents cannot come to an agreement, the dispute is resolved by the court with the participation of the guardianship and trusteeship authority at the request of the parents (one of them). In case of failure to comply with the court decision, measures provided for by civil procedural legislation are applied to the guilty parent. In case of malicious failure to comply with a court decision, the court, at the request of a parent living separately from the child, may make a decision to transfer the child to him based on the interests of the child and taking into account the opinion of the child.

[email protected]– mail for your questions

- Tell me, what should I do?

- How can I get her to allow me to see my son?

The solution to your question is provided for in Art. 66 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation:

1. A parent living separately from the child, has the right to communicate with the child, participation in his upbringing and resolving issues of the child’s education.

The parent with whom the child lives should not interfere the child’s communication with the other parent, if such communication does not harm the child’s physical and mental health or his moral development.

2. Parents has the right to conclude in writing agreement on the procedure for exercising parental rights by a parent living separately from the child.

If the parents cannot reach an agreement, the dispute is resolved by the court with the participation of the guardianship and trusteeship authority at the request of the parents (one of them). At the request of the parents (one of them) in the manner established by civil procedural legislation, the court, with the obligatory participation of the guardianship and trusteeship authority, has the right to determine the procedure for the exercise of parental rights for the period before the court decision enters into legal force.

3. In case of failure to comply with the court decision, the guilty parent measures are applied provided for by civil procedural legislation. In case of malicious failure to comply with a court decision, the court, at the request of a parent living separately from the child, may make a decision to transfer the child to him based on the interests of the child and taking into account the opinion of the child.

4. A parent living separately from the child has the right to receive information about his child from educational institutions, medical institutions, social welfare institutions and similar organizations. The provision of information may be refused only if there is a threat to the life and health of the child on the part of the parent. Refusal to provide information may be challenged in court.

The Supreme Court of the Russian Federation, in a review of the practice of resolving disputes related to the upbringing of children by courts, approved by the Presidium of the Supreme Court of the Russian Federation on July 20, 2011, expressed its position on this issue:

Living with one parent does not deprive the other parent of the right and obligation to participate in his or her upbringing. The parent living separately from the child has the right to communicate with him and is obliged to take part in his upbringing, and the parent with whom the child lives does not have the right to prevent the other parent from doing this.
When resolving disputes between parents about the procedure for the exercise of parental rights by a parent living separately from the child, the courts are guided by the explanations contained in paragraph 8 of the Resolution of the Plenum of the Supreme Court of the Russian Federation of May 27, 1998 No. 10, according to which, when determining the procedure for communication between a parent and a child, taking into account the age of the child, his state of health, attachment to each of the parents and other circumstances that can have an impact on the physical and mental health of the child, on his moral development.
When resolving such disputes, the courts correctly proceeded both from the equality of parental rights of both parents, taking into account their wishes, and from the interests of the child.
At the same time, taking into account the circumstances of a particular case, the claims of the parent living separately from the child were often partially satisfied by the court, and the procedure for communication with the child was determined differently than that stated by the parent. The determination, in particular, of a different length of time for communication with a child was associated primarily with the individual characteristics of the child, his age, state of health, the child’s lack of experience communicating with a parent living separately, as well as with the parents’ work schedule.
In a number of cases, the court, taking into account the small age of the child and the fact that the child had not seen the plaintiff (father or mother) for a long time and was unaccustomed to him, prescribed different communication procedures for the first months after the decision entered into legal force and for the subsequent period.
As a generalization of judicial practice has shown, when determining the procedure for communication with a child of a parent living separately from the child, the courts only in some cases determined the possibility of such communication in the presence of the other parent and at the child’s place of residence - when this was dictated by the interests of the child. At the same time, there have also been cases when the court, without sufficient grounds, determined the place of communication between the parent and the child only at the child’s place of residence.
In paragraph 8 of the Resolution of the Plenum of the Supreme Court of the Russian Federation dated May 27, 1998 N 10, it is explained that, having determined the procedure for the participation of a separately living parent in raising a child, the court warns the other parent about the possible consequences of failure to comply with the court decision, which are determined by paragraph 3 of Article 66 of the RF IC .
In case of malicious failure to comply with a court decision at the request of a parent living separately from the child, the court may make a decision to transfer the child to him, based on the interests of the child and taking into account the child’s opinion.

If a man is very attached to his child, then after a divorce such a man can be easily manipulated or simply mentally harassed out of a feeling of revenge or a desire to cause pain. Here are just a few phrases that an ex-husband may hear:

“You will never see your child again!”

“I will find a better father for the child than you! And he doesn’t need you anymore!”

“You’ll see, the child will forget you very quickly!”

There was a case when the ex-wife and mother-in-law determined the price of visits with a child - at least twenty thousand rubles a month and not a penny less. Otherwise, it’s a turn from the gate. And this despite the fact that the child’s father did not have a stable income during this period (which is why, in fact, he was not needed). But he loved the child and wanted to see him, and he was not going to refuse any help he could.

Sometimes the first negative emotions after a divorce are so strong that the woman does not want to let her see the child at all. Not for any money or gifts. She takes child support as a matter of course; it can be sent by mail without damaging the child’s psyche with its appearance.

This, by the way, is one of the arguments of such women why they do not want their child to meet with their ex-husband. Like, the sooner the child forgets you and gets used to the new father, the better for the child’s psyche.

The situation is even more unpleasant when a woman moves with her child to another city, away from her ex-husband. Then the possibility of a meeting becomes much more difficult.

What to do in this situation? Go to law? Contact the guardianship authorities? Well, let’s say, after a long debate (and any trial is a protracted matter), the unfortunate parent will be given time to meet with the child and the negligent mother will be formally obliged to give the child away for joint walks with the father.

But how can you come for the child if the woman is categorically against these visits? Each time, accompanied by bailiffs and police, almost breaking down the door to the apartment? This is stress for a child.

Plus, let's add to this that most of the time that the child will spend with his mother, he will be in every possible way set up against his father, both by the mother herself and her relatives. It would be very good if this were not so.

And, of course, the man himself will make a big mistake if, during the allotted visits with the child, he creates a negative image of the mother in him.

Fortunately, for many divorced parents, resentment and hatred fade over time, and they begin to think more or less sensibly. For example, there was such a case.

A married couple, Olya and Sergey, divorced. Olya filed for divorce because during one of the quarrels her husband raised his hand against her. And in general, she believed that Sergei earned little, helped little around the house, and devoted little time to the child.

Their son Misha remained after the divorce from Olya. She was very angry and offended and refused to allow Sergei to meet her son. However, she couldn’t find a new man, at least a permanent one, and it’s very difficult alone with a child.

If a child gets sick, you have to take sick leave, and employers really don’t like it when an employee is constantly absent. And, in general, what kind of personal life is there when a “tail” is always with you. Neither go on a date nor invite anyone over.

And consider all the expenses and worries associated with the child to be taken on alone. Alimony is alimony, but you also have to prepare food, feed, wash, queue at the clinic, etc.

Olya thought, thought and called Sergei: “Misha is your son too. Why did you forget about him? Take it for the weekend." Sergei became a Sunday dad. And then Olya said: “I can’t feed Misha alone. Let’s do it this way: he lives with me for a week, with you for a week.” It didn’t even stop her that Sergei was already dating another woman by that time.

What do you think is a way out if your ex-wife doesn’t allow you to see your child?

- a difficult and quite multifaceted procedure that requires extreme care and responsibility. If during the process the conditions for communication between the child and the father were not thought out in advance, then sooner or later the ex-wife may completely prohibit meetings.

There are an impressive number of reasons for this behavior of the mother, but in most cases it is simply banal jealousy and selfishness. In this article you can find out what to do when your wife does not allow you to see your child.

Can a mother prohibit father-child meetings?

1. the party who lives separately from their former family has the right to see the child. In most cases this is the father. He definitely should. The mother should not interfere with communication unless it causes emotional or physical harm to the baby;
2. The appointment schedule can be drawn up in writing. If it is not easy for his mom and dad to come to any specific agreement, then the dispute can be resolved by going to court. If one of the parties, who is in the same living space as the child, has committed a crime, then at the request of the second spouse, the court can transfer to him the right of guardianship and upbringing (naturally, in accordance with the wishes of the child himself);
3. Every person has the right to receive certain information about his child from medical or educational institutions. They can refuse him only because he poses a serious danger to the baby’s life. Although the ban can be lifted in court if there is refuting evidence.

After divorce

If your ex-lover does not give you the opportunity to maintain communication with your child, then you will learn all the news about him from her words. Well, or her parents will tell you about the changes taking place in the life of their child.

Moreover, the longer this confusion lasts, the more the baby will move away from you. Most likely, the ex-wife understands this very well. That is why she does everything possible to interfere with your communication.

A ban on communication is a serious and unwanted violation of the interests of any child.. According to legal, psychological and moral standards, the baby must communicate with all members of his family. Especially with parents.

The ability to communicate cannot be manipulated, since a child is not a thing that is passed from hand to hand. It is not property or property that is given for a while depending on the mood. This is a person whose interests must be taken into account.

If your ex-wife prohibits you from communicating with your daughter or son, then the problem can be easily solved - you just need to go to court. And you should carefully prepare for this trial in order to clearly exclude all unpredictable results.

Married

First of all, a man should contact the guardianship and trusteeship authority. There they will explain to him what to do in this case, when the spouse prohibits him from seeing the child.

If my ex-wife does not allow me to see my child, what should I do?

And in fact, if, upon the dissolution of a legal marriage, the issues of communication between the father and the child were not properly resolved, then a similar situation may arise.

The reasons can be completely different: very often it is even difficult to imagine what exactly was the reason for such not entirely adequate behavior on the part of mothers. As a rule, it can be jealousy or self-interest.

When a former beloved woman does not allow a son or daughter to see their father, the baby will perceive information about him from the words of the mother and her parents (grandparents).

When a former lover does not allow the child to communicate with the parent, she, first of all, violates the interests of her own child. And they are that he can maintain communication with both his mother and father, even if they dissolved their marriage.

The fact of communication cannot be a subject of bargaining. He is not a thing that can be given and then taken away or vice versa. This is not property.

Where to contact?

If the ex-wife does not give the child for communication, then a solution to this problem must be sought in court. You should prepare for it so that you are not surprised by the result.

Requirements for a claim

A sample claim for the removal of any obstacles in communication with a child and the establishment of a procedure for participation in his upbringing must be prepared taking into account family law and established judicial practice in family matters.

Mother and father have similar rights to raise their own child. If they file for divorce, then the baby can remain to live with only one of the parents.

But the other party must exercise their own right to education while being away from him. As a rule, this consists of determining the time and place of communication with him. The father must receive all information regarding the education, upbringing and treatment of the child.

The injured party has the right to file a lawsuit to establish the order of communication. This opportunity can be used by a parent who cannot constantly be with his child. When deciding issues related to raising children, the court will pay close attention to his age.

You also need to take into account the state of health, attachment to each of the parents, the baby’s daily routine, and the distance the parents live from each other. It is important that the child is provided with a place to sleep and rest.

Taking into account the information presented above, the claim should write in more detail about the possibility of providing the child with the right conditions during his upbringing.

When choosing a communication mode, you need to pay attention to your own work schedule, the defendant’s work hours, the child’s schedule for visiting preschools, schools, clubs, courses and other institutions.

It must be understood that the other party should also have the right to spend time with the child on one of their days off, during vacations and holidays. If, before directly going to court, communication with the baby was infrequent and insufficient, it is assumed that he may end up in an environment that is foreign to him, which will become real stress.

The court's decision to determine the time of communication with the child does not deprive the plaintiff of the right to file a new claim in court or establish a completely different order of communication, especially after the situation changes radically.

During the proceedings, you can request a request for a forensic examination, which will help determine what will be best for the child. This is necessary to determine the mode of communication with a parent living separately.

Required documents

The following documents must be attached to the statement of claim:

1. a copy of this claim;
2. photocopy;
3. photocopy of the child's birth certificate;
4. reference from the plaintiff’s superiors;
5. exact information about the father’s (mother’s) work schedule.

Trial and judgment

In case of failure to comply with a court decision, certain measures provided for by civil law are applied to the guilty party.

If there is a need, then you can invite bailiffs every time to record that the ex-wife does not fulfill her obligations. When calling law enforcement officers, also invite a bailiff or one of the witnesses.

It is better to try to resolve the conflict peacefully. Of course, if such an opportunity exists.

Is the child’s opinion taken into account in court?

In any case, it is taken into account when announcing the decision that the father can freely see his child. If the parent does not pose a threat, then the baby wants to communicate with him.

Arbitrage practice

If the judge and jury came to your defense, then try to very quickly exercise your right to visit your child.

The whole point is that the latter grows and develops, and due to natural suggestibility and naivety, he can be instilled with implausible information about a bad parent who allegedly abandoned the family in difficult times. You can tell your baby anything and he will believe it.

Do not forget that the mother of your child may have a very rich imagination, which will be used to your detriment.