The first time I cheated on my husband... “My self-esteem hit rock bottom and I cheated on my husband with a Turk.” Letter from a reader Cheating wife on vacation with the guys
Marital relations sooner or later tend to come to naught. Husband and wife are completely immersed in everyday life, are engaged in raising children and completely forget about their own relationship. That is why often a woman finds herself in the arms of an outsider. She, of course, is completely at a loss. She doesn't understand how this could happen? Well, the legal spouse walks with branched horns on his head and does not even suspect what happened!
You should exhale and calm down. You should not rush from one extreme to another and immediately report your betrayal to your soulmate. You need to recognize the problem and understand how to proceed. Tell your husband or keep the dastardly deed a secret? Save the family or file for divorce? But most importantly, how to stop experiencing pangs of conscience and eat yourself from the inside?
Arguments of treason
I cheated on my husband, now I feel ashamed and feel bad. However, a woman should not fall on her knees before her husband and repent. It just seems that after a person speaks out, it will become easier for him. It won't! The husband will begin to threaten with divorce and show aggression, but it is not a fact that he will be able to cool down and forgive the fall of his life partner. First you need to understand the causes of what happened, and then act.
Many women remain faithful to their partner throughout their lives. It is men who often step onto the left path and find solace in the arms of sultry beauties. Wives save the marriage in every way and show truly angelic patience. Naturally, there is a category of real whores, but they are rather an exception to the rule.
In most cases, a woman has strong arguments for infidelity. The husband could well be indifferent towards his wife. He stopped giving flowers and making compliments, inviting to the movies and cafes. Maybe he humiliated and insulted a woman? And the lover showed attention and care, showed admiration and looked into the eyes with adoration? Showed assertiveness and courtesy, and then achieved his goal?
You should not blame only yourself for the fact that treason occurred. A woman needs to feel loved and unique, necessary and desired. That is why the lawful husband may turn out to be a criminal who could not give all this. You should not justify and idealize it, because relationships always need to be worked on.
Perhaps the girl decided to take revenge on her husband for an ugly act. She found him himself in bed with another woman for some time, and could not forgive him. But the wife did not make a scandal with breaking dishes, but simply went for a walk and succumbed to the advances of a handsome stranger. In the morning, I regretted my deed a hundred times, but I couldn’t turn back anything.
From betrayal, the woman did not get pleasure, but only made her suffer from her act? Yes, it was stupid, but nothing can be returned. That is why it is worth drawing conclusions and thinking about what to do with your spouse. After all, he also bears little resemblance to an angel with wings. He himself believes that he can be cheated on, and if a woman commits such an act, then she must be impaled in an open field. Only a few are able to forgive treason, the rest hide resentment for life.
The most common reasons for cheating
Men consider the statement “Not caught, not a thief” to be the most correct of all possible. However, women do not think so at all, they can simply remain silent, but they always know about their spouse's infidelity. When a woman cheats, she is very worried about this and suffers, all the pleasure comes to naught. So why do wives decide to spend time with another?
1. Wife is a man
This situation is very common in today's world. When a woman is a "man" in the family, then her worldview changes. She considers herself the main one, and therefore has the right to treason.
2. Lack of satisfaction
If the spouses have big problems in intimate life, then it is not at all surprising that the wife prefers to spend time in the arms of another man. Usually such relationships are one-time, but sometimes the connection on the side flows into a long-term relationship. In this case, the family inevitably collapses.
3. Working relationship
Office romances are not uncommon these days. When a man constantly tries to get close at work, the chances are high that the woman will give in. Well, corporate parties are a separate conversation. There is a sea of alcohol, and flirting with company employees, and emotional stress. Very often, couples retire in offices not at all to discuss work issues.
4. Vacation time
Sometimes spouses prefer to relax separately from each other. This is where the danger comes in. After all, on vacation, a person relaxes as much as possible and feels happy. He just needs to find a suitable companion for a pleasant pastime!
5. Genes
If a girl from childhood sees how her mother constantly changes partners, then she will most likely do the same in the future. A woman will consider such behavior to be the norm, not to see anything prejudicial in this.
6. Age
Young wives have not yet had time to take a walk to their heart's content, they want to experience new emotions and learn something unusual. They often go to the side for amazing sensations. Adult women already understand the importance of the family, so they try to follow the rules of decency and consider trust to be the main condition for a happy life with her husband.
7. Separation
The husband went on a business trip, left to pay his debt to the Motherland, sailed away to the sea ... Naturally, the faithful wife is waiting for him and looks out the window, wiping her eyes with a handkerchief. But sometimes a man appears at her door who is ready to give the whole world right now, at this moment. Well, the woman has already managed to forget what real strong hugs are, so she dissolves into them with pleasure.
8. Bad girl
The women gather to have dinner together and gossip. They discuss pressing issues and arrange competitions. Some try to surpass their girlfriends in the number of lovers, just like that, for excitement. Well, inexperienced ladies, having got into such a company, begin to think that they need a man on the side, and urgently.
9. Feeling of revenge
Revenge is a very powerful incentive to go to the side and betray. It is urgent to prove to the spouse that not only he can change. Naturally, in this case, the family is likely to break up.
10. Carelessness of the spouse
In every family, sometimes there is a crisis and fatigue from each other. Only spouses can survive this, build relationships and revive their former passion. Well, if the husband does not pay any attention to his only one, then she begins to look for him on the side. And finds!
It is worth remembering that most women are very worried about their own betrayal, so they try not to lose face even in such a delicate situation.
Infidel missus or what to do after treason?
If this did happen, then it is worth asking yourself first of all, is love for her husband really still left? Is it necessary to maintain a relationship at all, or is it better not to torment each other and leave? Why did the change happen? Will a woman be able to continue to live normally with her husband after what happened? Should I confess to what I did?
If a woman loves her husband, she wants to continue living with him further, values the relationship and decides to save the family, then in no case should you talk about your own betrayal, no matter how sick it is. After all, after recognition, a divorce usually occurs and nothing more. Naturally, the libertine will feel guilty and suffer, but you can show the maximum amount of attention and care to your spouse, thereby atone for guilt and even improve relations.
However, if there is even the smallest probability that the beloved will find out about the fall of the missus, you must definitely tell him about your act looking straight into the eyes. Sometimes betrayal helps to get rid of accumulated problems in family life, discuss many issues and understand who and what is doing wrong. You need to repent, convince your husband of clouding your mind or insanity, schizophrenia and stupidity, and promise that this will never happen again.
You need to carefully analyze the reasons why the betrayal occurred. Understand what changes need to be made in family life. Maybe you should sort things out with your spouse? Or reduce the requirements for it? Or maybe love has passed without a trace and can not be returned? You should accurately understand the reason for your act, and then decide whether he is worthy of knowing the truth.
Husband found at the scene of the crime
The woman decided to keep the fact of her infidelity a secret, but her husband found out about everything on his own. What will happen now? And nothing will happen, or forgive, or not. It is worth noting that never and never will a normal man, for whom the family is valuable, be able to forgive his wife's spree. He may try to continue living with the traitor, but he will not be able to completely forgive and forget. Even if the wife flogs nonsense that she drank a lot, lost her memory, confused her husband with another, and stuff like that, this will not save the situation.
Many are sure that if you truly love, you will definitely forgive. There is a small possibility of this, but not a fact. Especially if everyone around knows about the betrayal and starts putting pressure on the unfortunate horned one. Everyone will tease him at any opportunity, and even the most loving person will not be able to withstand this. In any case, it will not be possible to maintain a full and former family life.
But what about the children?
Undoubtedly, children are the most sacred thing in life. The men are of the same opinion. However, the child was not lucky with those parents who consider adultery normal. The baby will feel the increased tension between mom and dad, and this will not lead to anything good. Family life will be strained after the betrayal of his wife, so you should definitely work up before you give birth to offspring. Only then will the child find happiness and peace, be able to perceive the family normally in the future and be faithful to his soulmate.
Error correction
It is worth distracting from eating yourself and make an analysis of family life. If a woman under the influence of alcohol is ready to dance half-naked on a table in front of all honest people, then you should stop drinking altogether so as not to provoke yourself to fall into the arms of an outsider. If you want variety in bed, and your spouse does not provide support in this, it is better to talk frankly with him and talk about your wishes. He will definitely appreciate it and try to change his intimate life. If only beefy and tanned guys from the cover of a magazine go to work, you should look for another place to build a career.
time helps
Naturally, after the betrayal, a certain unpleasant aftertaste will remain, because a woman cannot press the button to delete information. However, it is worth accepting the situation and trying never to communicate too closely with anyone again, you need to keep a pioneering distance, or even completely refrain from communicating with the opposite sex. If it gets really bad, then you can go to church and talk to the priest.
The head is able to think
- Be sure to find a hobby that will help get rid of shame.
- Reminders of betrayal and shameful thoughts should be eliminated.
- You should not go to a bar where a man was once found for a pleasant pastime. It is worth avoiding walking near this place in order to exclude a possible meeting with a one-time partner.
- All attention should be paid to the family and beloved spouse.
- No need to blame the whole truth on her husband, because he is not to blame for anything.
If a woman feels that she wants to change her spouse, retire with her colleague, or attract the attention of a nearby man standing in a bar, then you need to immediately think about your family. Is she ready to sacrifice her own happiness, offend her chosen one, make him suffer and howl from misunderstanding? It will also not be superfluous to think about the healthy mental state of children who will never understand the divorce of their parents. Is it worth all this twenty-minute pleasure (and that's not a fact)?
Only 16% of women believe that promiscuity will not lead to good. For 48% of respondents, a holiday romance is an easy, non-binding adventure. Basically, women aged 25-35 think so, SEX.RF reports.
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But it's worth noting that ladies only consider romance on vacation if they're single. If they are in a relationship, fifty-seven percent exclude the possibility of such love. But 28% do not see anything wrong with the fact that they are given the opportunity to have fun. These women believe that a holiday romance is not treason, and therefore easily make contact with vacationing men.
But, as it turned out, the most difficult thing for girls is not to have an affair on the side, but how to part with a new love later. Some really develop family relationships, but there are very few such couples. Only five percent are happy together.
Cheating on their "halves" Russian girls almost always warn their new acquaintances about marriage. And although half of the women surveyed had experience in the resort in the past, currently 40% prefer to go on vacation with their husband or child.
It is interesting that almost seventy percent of girls are theoretically ready to let their man go on vacation alone. But they will never forgive his betrayal, because they do not see the difference in the geography of betrayal. Such is the normal female logic.
Is it worth letting your wife go alone to a resort, on vacation (treatment, study, symposium, concerts) abroad, on a Mediterranean cruise, a tour of European countries, on a business trip, on a hike (mountains, kayaks, excursions, pilgrimage to holy places) , to a friend with an overnight stay, to a two-day corporate party with barbecue in the deep forest, etc.?
Reader, you did exactly the right thing to start with this question. Before, not after. Most of the husbands, on the contrary, shout after the departed train:
How to find out if the wife has cheated while at the resort alone?
How to find out if your wife cheated on you on vacation abroad?
If the wife went on a business trip with her boss, will she cheat there?
If the wife went on a field trip with her classmates, did she have sex there?
Why does the wife's eyes glow, cheerful and energetic after a trip to the resort?
The wife came from the sea, changed not to be recognized.
Wives go to conventions, do they cheat?
The wife came from the south, does not look into the eyes.
It's too late to ask. Should have done it before, before!
Further ... And what makes you think that she will be there alone? The woman herself, away from home, is somehow afraid (at first). Therefore, as a rule, she is going to go with a friend or a married couple whom you do not know. But most likely, there will be another little man. Either she will arrive separately, or in the same plane with her. They, like, don't know each other until they get there. Well, you know who it is...
Why do wives go to conventions? What do you think? Mind to learn? Or share yours? Well, we divided zero by two, what happened?
The crow flew over the sea, and the crow returned. (Russian epil.)
Meeting with classmates, of course, is a sacred thing. However, there are husbands who won't let their wives go even there! And they do it right! Have you ever attended such meetings? So what are you asking then? Do not doubt: they will remember their youth to the fullest, be sure! A wife can be allowed to attend such meetings not earlier than after 40 years from the moment she graduated from high school, and even more so from the institute! As for the ballet school, theater / circus school, it’s better for you not to know about them ...
Did your wife cheat on a business trip? Why do you think she went there? Women, as a rule, fight off business trips with all their might. And yours is already torn somewhere far away? She can't sit still... What, is the awl stuck in her ass? Often bosses and other hillocks choose their mistress from their environment, in subordinate or affiliated structures, for which they stupidly ask homies and colleagues: “Do you have an interesting woman among the staff? Introduce ... ”And the higher such a pepper is, the more often and more arrogantly he uses his official position. And then they go together, like, on a business trip. This is a classic of the genre since Soviet times. A great way to eat fish and… well, you get the idea.
If the wife changed her job for no reason, be on the lookout: it is very likely that such an impudent pepper took her to his company.
Now about resorts-waters and other dispensaries. Looks like you've never been there if you're asking. And if I had, I would have been horrified. From the depravity that is going on there. How this vice indulges both the old and the young, the beautiful and the ugly, the faithful and the traitor, the smart and the fool. Under the pernicious influence of all kinds of resorts, sanatoriums, boarding houses and other viperous places, even the most persistent people are decomposing. Even the flint man and the steel woman, seeing all this sodom, involuntarily come to the conclusion that they are white crows. Since everyone is acting like this, then it's normal! And I'm worse, right? “There are once in a lifetime 18 years!” Everything is accessible, easy and hassle-free. Drink, walk and be merry, credit the painting...
Resorts spoil even the most faithful wives. In each of these hotbeds of vice, hundreds of visiting "pick-up artists" rush about, plus a local population of freeloaders (farm gigolos) who only think about how to blow someone up to the very tomatoes. 
The rut of bare-ass seaside womanizers.
And all of them, like young cockerels, vying with each other in front of each other, show their feathers to stupid hens. I didn’t think: why are these terrible, fat aunts every year in Turkey and Egypt dangle? Haven’t you seen the pyramids, or what? ... If a woman has tried at least once a resort marriage, then be sure she will rush there again and again by hook or by crook. 
To carry firewood on this mare, and not to treat at sea.
Don't be a sucker, man, put her on a chain.
Of course, on any women's site or forum you can read about real, self-confident men, gentleman knights, who, without any reservations or conditions, let their clever beauties go to the ends of the world! Yes, and they supply them with a tidy sum so that they are not bored there. First, she will go, and then she will tell her husband whether it is worth going there at all, so that he can properly plan his vacation. And next time she will definitely take her husband with her. (May be.) 
Where's your wife vacationing, dude?
From the same sources, noodles will pour on you abundantly, they say, only cowards and insecure men do not let go! A real man will not be at all jealous that his lady flirts there a little. So what? Light flirting for a woman is not at all contraindicated, but even useful! She is getting younger, prettier, becomes cheerful, energetic and does not nag her husband for a whole month!
There are, however, original husbands. What if she doesn’t come back from there? ... And there is no problem ... Like that character from the well-known joke who sent his wife with tourists to the Himalayas, and a year later he thought: take it back or let him lie down in the snow a little more?
But if you don’t have sawdust in your head, and you can think at least a little with your head, then you will never let your wife go alone to some fucking resorts. It's like throwing a wad of bucks at the metro junction. The hungry dogs of the crowd will tear them to shreds!... Only your ill-wishers or complete idiots can advise you to let your wife go somewhere alone... Yes, the wife herself will not go without you if she is smart, loving and faithful. And do not go without a wife yourself, if you love and appreciate her. In the right family, either both go to resorts, or no one goes. Such is the corporate solidarity in it. And if a wife stupidly and stubbornly strives to go somewhere without her husband, then there is no doubt that she is going to cuckold him.
Some are wondering: will the tricks from the sex shop help to keep the fidelity of the wife during frequent business trips?
They won't help! More A.P. Chekhov said that going on a business trip with a vibrator is like going to Tula with your own samovar. It's just extra weight. Although, for the experiment, you can discreetly put this device in her suitcase with a note "Remember me." It's so romantic and original! When she finds him in a hotel room, she will be moved to tears! And immediately wants to change.
Why does the wife hide her eyes? Yes, for the same reason that a naughty cat is hiding! She feels guilty, is afraid that her husband will guess everything, is tormented by doubts about what to do now. But this is only the first time. From the second, shame turns into pride in one's dirty, immoral deeds... "Her soul sings like a harp."
By the way, after returning from resorts, wives avoid sex with their husbands for some time.
Here's why you think? The answer is simple. And not to be pierced! Read the article Wife does not give ...
A thief should be in jail, a genie in a bottle, and a wife at home.
(Arabic last)
Take care of your wife don't let her go. (D.I. Fonvizin)
Uncontrolled freedom has a detrimental effect on women's moral character. Therefore, it is better to be a coward, but without horns! A reasonable husband does not leave his wife unattended even when she lies down on the operating table!
Well, now decide for yourself who you are: a desperate horseman without a head, or a prudent coward.
10 years of marriage. Son is nine. Two years ago, my husband spent a holiday alone. I was against it, he explained this with a preferential ticket, although this did not convince me. The next year, I planned a joint trip, my husband did not refuse, but at the last moment a preferential ticket appeared again. Then I realized that my husband was originally preparing to go alone. After his second vacation, I accidentally found out that in the sanatorium the husband was in close relations with the woman, and not just once, but was inseparable from her. In addition, he also corresponds with her by SMS until now. Having learned about it, I cannot forgive him. After all, he betrayed not only by the fact that he changed, but by the fact that he deceived us and exchanged us. At first he tried to fight back. Then he began to say that nothing terrible happened, he loves only me. I do not see the future, I consider him a traitor. He expects forgiveness. I want to file for divorce. I still hold on in front of people, and when I'm alone, I roar, but I can't forgive. How out of date am I in my decision? There is an opinion that on vacation all men cheat. Is there a difference between a cheating husband at home, in the family, and cheating on vacation? Is it possible to leave a man without treason? I really want to hear someone else's opinion, especially men.
Tatyana, Siberia, 39 years old / 06.04.07
Opinions of our experts
Alyona
I don’t know how about “all men cheat on vacation”, but even so, then cheating is different. The option "drank in a bar, woke up in the morning with someone else's aunt in bed" is one thing. And when the whole vacation met with a certain lady, then corresponded with her, and on the next vacation he again went to catch adventures (perhaps with the same madam) - this is no longer a holiday romance, but a way of life. That is, your husband considers it acceptable for himself, and he perceives the rest as an opportunity to leave the family and plunge into other, non-binding sexual relationships. With the same success, he could visit a brothel, pick up prostitutes on the street. Actually, what's the difference? Naturally, he loves you more than prostitutes and casual acquaintances with whom he spent time on vacation. But only this is hardly the same love that a normal woman needs. In general, I summarize: this is not a vacation, and what your husband did is not a resort affair. It is precisely for these feelings and relationships that he rides there from you and your son. So draw your conclusions. Do you need such a slut in the household, or not. Just do not cry.
Sergei
All people are different, of course, but I would never forgive this. Ten years is, of course, a period for a relationship, but not so long as to so clearly offend your other half. And for sure, it doesn't even smell like love. You and your son were really deceived and traded. By the way, I think that even if you continue your life together, it will not be for long. So file for divorce. Yes, it's hard. Yes, it's scary to be alone. But living together is still not going to work. So why waste time? The son is already quite old, I believe that he will understand everything perfectly. On vacation, almost all men cheat. "Almost" because rest is different. Someone goes to rest and recover because it is necessary for health, but the family simply cannot join. In this case, everything depends on the person, on family relations, on his moral principles. Someone is extreme to the marrow of bones and for him rest is mountains, skiing, skydiving, diving and all in the same spirit. At this point, the wife and children may simply be afraid of such an active pastime and therefore not participate in it. But usually the guys who go on vacation like this are very purposeful, independent and enthusiastic people. Such people go precisely to rest, and they gather with a long-standing and close-knit company, and there is no talk of any betrayals, simply because you get very tired during the day, and they didn’t go for that. If the husband purposefully went on vacation alone, to some resort, that is, to play the fool, although he could spend it with his wife and child, then he definitely went for a walk. I personally don't see any other option. And there is no difference between betrayal in the family (although I don’t quite understand how it is), and on vacation. So the forest is such a beautiful uncle. Forest.
My self-esteem - already lowered to a critical state - fell to the very bottom. After giving birth, I recovered greatly and was never able to return to my pre-pregnant forms. I felt huge, I didn't feel attractive. Relatives added fuel to the fire: they constantly discussed my appearance, gave advice on losing weight, and my mother-in-law even tried to give me her clothes! And I honestly wondered why I was so upset.
At sea it got even worse
And then my boss - a kind family man - found out that my son had not yet been to the sea. And he insisted that I take a vacation. I didn't resist. I wanted to switch. I found the first available ticket, and my son and I flew to Turkey.
There I got even worse. I was lying on the beach: white, big, tired. It seemed that everyone around was so beautiful, so happy. People rested with their families, were together, took care of each other. And I wanted to howl. One good thing - my son liked the sea.
One woman advised to go to the hammam: they say that after it the tan goes well. She even agreed to look after my son while I was there. I went.
The massage therapist's hand slipped...
It was dim in the hammam. And I was there alone. The masseur - a young, very handsome guy, not at all like an ordinary Turk - rubbed me, scrubbed me. Long and hard. I thought it was like sex: repetitive movements that are pleasurable. Relaxed, enjoyed the moment, which was so good and seemed to last forever. My body is carefully stroked, and this body felt so good from this care ... It was as if I had fallen into some other reality ...
And then other people entered the hammam. It was so abrupt - as if someone turned on the light. I realized that everything. That the massage will end soon and this moment will never happen again. And I will need to return to my life, to my complexes and problems.
At that moment, the masseur's hand slipped to where the masseur's hand should not slide ... I did not remove it ...
Then we went from the hamam for a massage - to the cabin. The massage was good. And the sex was good too.
Photo source: pexels.com
It seems to me that if I had time to “think”, I would be scared and would not do anything. Still, I had no prior experience of sexual intercourse with other men. And I got used to my husband, was faithful to him and was not going to change. But everything seemed to come together in one point: the atmosphere, relaxation and a desperate need to feel desired.
Until - these seven days - I was a woman to be admired
All vacation I went for a massage every day during my son's nap. And - no matter how funny - massage was always there, as well as sex.
I saw that this man really liked me. During his breaks, he went out to the pool, where he always looked for me with his eyes. He admired me!
During our “massages” he was very gentle and caring, thought about foreplay, sincerely tried to please me, was interested in me, talked about himself. Of course, there were no long conversations - we were limited in time, and we understood each other through a word - but I felt complete acceptance of me and a keen interest.
I had no illusions. I understood that in a week, when I left, another woman would appear, whom he would also admire. But for now—these seven days—that woman was me.
They played catch-up with their son
One afternoon on his day off, the three of us went for a walk! He didn't hint at "leave your son with someone." It was natural for him that since I have a child, we will be together.
On his day off, we went to the village. They played catch-up with their son, smeared each other with ice cream, had fun and laughed. On the way back, the baby fell asleep in his arms. And so we walked - by the hand, and a child was sleeping on his shoulder. I then thought how much I miss this in family life - calm, kind, quiet walks.
During these seven days I blossomed
There were no obvious changes: the same clothes, the same weight, the same me. But it was a different me. I felt like a woman. Desirable, beautiful woman. I didn’t have to lose weight, fit into the standards. I was already pretty. And this beauty was first seen by a male massage therapist, and then by me. I believed that I could be admired.
Photo source: pexels.com
We hid the relationship, and no one in the hotel even suspected what was happening. Already at the airport, I found out that one of my friends met with a DJ, the second - with a waiter. Later, I read that the Turks have statistics: married women who come to rest with children alone most often enter into relationships with local residents. I suspect that the reasons for women are the same as mine.
I told only two close friends about my romance. They were surprised - no one expected this from me, but they were happy for me. I was also happy. This relationship pulled me out of despondency and warmed me for many more months. Sometimes we texted each other. But I knew that there would be no continuation. And didn't want to.
This novel did not affect my family life in any way.
The husband didn't know anything. He suspected something - painfully dramatic changes had taken place in me. Tried to find out from the child. But the child, to my surprise, did not remember this man at all. And I also forgot about our walk. Maybe he forced it out of his memories - he felt something.
This novel did not affect my family life in any way. Yes, my husband and I divorced a few years later. But that has nothing to do with that Turk. It has to do with my husband.
And that man and our meetings remained a pleasant memory for me. I'm glad it happened in my life.
Expert commentary. Get out of a dependent position, understand and voice your needs.
Ekaterina Sergeychik, psychologist
Cheating is often a signal that the need for attention and recognition is not being satisfied. But often, instead of discovering her desires within herself and understanding what is not working out in a relationship, a woman unconsciously looks for ways to “quench her hunger”, being ashamed and accusing herself of cheating. And it is better to take a few steps towards meeting your needs.
Understand and accept your value.
A woman is valuable and significant. This is a fact with which there is no point in arguing. From this one should live and remember this always. Remember that a woman has the right to rest, attention, care, good sex with her husband. And on that basis, build relationships.
Talk.
In the case of the heroine, it seems that she took on all the responsibilities around the house and was very tired of this. Did your husband know about it? It is very difficult to guess that you are hungry and tired if you do not talk about it. Whatever one may say, but ensuring one's well-being begins with the author of this well-being. Therefore, everything that does not suit you, that you would like to change, must be reported to the partner.
However, it is important to do this not from the position of a child (“I am offended, and they owe me”), but from the position of an adult (I understand the needs of another, but let's decide what to do: either you take on some of the responsibilities or we are looking for a nanny, a cleaning lady).Because if someone in a couple is dissatisfied with what is happening - these are not his problems, these are the problems of the couple.And they must be solved together.
Understand your needs.
What do I want from life? What do I need from this person? What do I need now? There is a feeling that the heroine of the letter does not distinguish between her inner needs and reacts only to what the outside world “throws” at her. She even went on vacation because her boss told her about it.
And the man with whom she cheated, it seems that she did not choose either. But if a woman understands what she needs, she will make the right choices and go where circumstances do not lead her, and she herself will manage her life.
Accept your sexuality.
The notion “I am sexy only if a particular man wants me and admires me” is very narrow. Do you like taking care of yourself? Do you want to pamper yourself? Do you feel good around men? Do you want to flirt? Do you see your uniqueness and originality?
If the answer to all these questions is “yes”, then the size of clothes for a woman will not be important. The heroine "appropriated" all this from the outside - through an outside man. He acted as an object that helped her feel her beauty. But if this understanding and this feeling comes from within, a woman does not depend on external assessments. And she is stable on the inside.
Take power into your own hands
I have a lot of questions and curiosity left by the end of this story. It is not very clear what kind of relationship the heroine had with her husband, what happened between them. But if it was a really destructive relationship that she left, then the dynamics are positive. Getting out of a dependent position, taking life into your own hands and taking a strong-willed step towards yourself is a lot of work. And in this position, you can build a healthy, harmonious relationship with a man.
All readers' stories from the series "I can't be silent"
