Fire Safety Encyclopedia

The ideal age of first love: does it exist? How is the first love going

The promise to love all my life, insane passion, the desire to be together every minute - all this. Someone is romantic, someone is bitter and unhappy. One thing is for sure: the first love remains in the memory forever.

Boys and girls experiencing first love, it seems that nothing in the world can be more important than their feelings. However, their parents are often skeptical of this fragile feeling, and sometimes even forbid young people to communicate, fearing that their inexperienced child might do stupid things. Are the parents right and the first love always doomed to fail?

If you evaluate first love from the point of view of psychology, then it can be called the first serious test personality. How a person experiences first love will significantly affect his character and later life. And if in life young people are subject to many conventions (school orders, parental prohibitions, generally accepted norms, etc.), then in the event of falling in love, a person is left alone with his feelings and decides what to do next.

Feature first feeling of falling in love are feelings and emotions. Lovers are still too young to understand and accept the flaws of the loved one. They do not love their partner, but their feelings for him, new sensations and experiences.

Extremely important, to the first love was successful... And it's not just about reciprocity. Even if you were unrequitedly in love, but at the same time tried to reach your ideal: engaged in your appearance and personal development - this will give you a positive experience for the future. And if the first love brought only suffering and self-doubt, this is a negative experience that can bring difficulties in subsequent relationships.

Incompleteness and understatement bring additional difficulties. If you were in love, but did not dare to confess your feelings, then you will return to this period of falling in love at a more mature age, relive these moments of life and reflect that everything could be different.

Tends to be tormented memories of first love characteristic of people who have real relationships are not very successful and happy. We begin to remember the carefree moments of youth and indulge ourselves with illusions that youth will return with the first love.

However, instead of doubts and illusions, it is better to devote your life to improving your current relationship. A the first love let it remain a pleasant and bright childhood memory.

What is first love? Sincere and exciting feelings caused by first love remain in the memory forever.

The experienced emotions cannot be forgotten even after years, because they are that invaluable experience that determines the essence of subsequent relationships. Analysis of the situation helps to timely part with the past and take into account its sometimes difficult lessons.

How the feeling arises

They always come unexpectedly, painting the world in fabulous colors. The rustling of the dull rain in the autumn foliage seems to be an enthusiastic melody, and the rainbow after the July downpour is a sign of eternal mutual love.

A person can experience these incredible emotions for the first time at very different ages:

Kindergarten love is the most touching and naiveThe elated boy suddenly begins to courageously defend the girl he likes from annoying fighters. And she, in turn, slips sweets to her dear friend and asks her mother to update her children's wardrobe more often. And it doesn't matter at all that the bride is a whole head taller, and that the thin gentleman has funny ears. First love is a story about feelings that do not lend themselves well to rational analysis. It is very important that parents treat this situation with understanding, keep the secrets of lovers, support children if their love remains unanswered. During this period, the first foundations of future relationships will be laid. This kind of experience is a great occasion to teach a child to calmly accept any turn of events.
Under the influence of school love, the teenager acts in such a way as to attract attention to himself without causing ridicule from his peers.Boys can tug at girls by their pigtails or tease them while they hide their briefcases or hit them on the back with a book. In parallel, a secret correspondence is tied up with an offer of friendship and going to the cinema. In high school, innocent encounters and kissing often escalate into first sexual experiences when specific parenting advice is needed. Adults should have timely conversations on “forbidden” topics and not dismiss the traditional phrase: “It's too early for you to think about it. Better learn your lessons. " School love is a great reason to instill in a teenager a sense of responsibility not only for himself, but also for the person to whom you are strongly attracted.
Youthful love is an open feelingYoung people no longer hide from strangers, kiss in the park, have sex, make plans for a joint future. During this period, you have to make choices and make fateful decisions. The wonderful romantic feelings that lovers experience have a positive effect on their psychological development and character in general.

What it is

It is about the brightest and very strongest feeling that visited a person for the first time. It gives rise to an irresistible desire to constantly be close to a loved one, to look into his eyes, to receive similar attention and warmth in return.

Unfortunately, the first love is not always happy or the one that happened once and for a lifetime. With this option for the development of relations, it is important not only to preserve exciting emotions in the soul, but also to learn to live on after separation.

The habit of immersing yourself in the past will deprive you of the opportunity to get acquainted with your own, no less bright, future.

Why you shouldn't be afraid

Fear of emerging feelings can be caused by a variety of reasons:

The first love is inherent in the idealization of the image of your chosen one.What gives rise to the fear in the soul of not finding in the partner the features of a fictional standard. The ideal can be a famous actor or, for example, caring parents.
Low self-esteemA reason to doubt yourself. This time, the person is not sure that he himself can reach the level of his beloved.
Fear is often caused by fear of the opposite sex.The reason may be, for example, the father's decision to go to another woman, which gave rise in the child's mind to a premonition of inevitable betrayal in personal relationships. As a result, he can constantly blame his partner for all serious sins, automatically provoking a breakup.
Fear will dissolve in another person to the detriment of their own interestsAnother reason for fear. It is difficult for a lover to share the time that he is used to spending on himself. Selfish attitude makes it difficult to realize that only love gives a feeling of incredible happiness and fullness of being

And yet you should not be afraid of first love. First, you need to understand a simple truth: the search for the ideal person is unlikely to give a positive result, because there are no “reference” people.

At the same time, all life consists of an eternal search for compromises. And if you master this wisdom in practice, the problems will disappear by themselves.

Don't look for the root cause of your romantic failures in other people. Sometimes it is defeat that teaches fateful lessons.

If you cannot cope with fear on your own, see a psychologist. The right training by a specialist will help to overcome the emotional barrier.

First love - difficulties

Because of the fear of rejection and being ridiculed by peers, it is very difficult for a teenager to confess his feelings. At a young age, the psyche is just being formed. The process takes place against the background of self-doubt and a large number of complexes.

First love difficulties can cause inappropriate behavior or even suicidal thoughts. To lend a shoulder during such a period, parents must build trust with their children in advance.

Only then can they help solve the problems of the first romantic experience. Conversations about love with consideration of various situations is exactly the form that will allow you to choose an acceptable line of behavior.

Is it forever with us

There are times when the first romantic feelings flare up already in adolescence and become for a person the love of his whole life.

However, most often the first experience lasts no longer than one or two years, leaving behind a lot of exciting memories. That is, it is important to understand that the first hobby does not come forever, and you should not indulge yourself with false hopes.

Will feelings flare up in a few years

From time to time, many people have such a question. Indeed, if you accidentally meet your first love, your heart can beat faster. But do old feelings have a chance to flare up with their former strength?

It is difficult to answer unequivocally, because each story is unique in its own way. And yet, more often than not, childhood or youthful love remains forever in the past.

The experienced emotions warm the soul even after many years, but they hardly have a chance to be repeated in reality.

What to do if parents are against

Not approving the child's choice, parents sometimes put a tough ultimatum: either we, or your love. Going to the extreme, declaring them your enemies or running away from home, in such cases is definitely not worth it.

At the very least, you need to listen to their arguments. Parents assess the situation pragmatically and may have realized that your partner's love is not as disinterested and light as you think.

It is necessary to talk with loved ones, explaining to them how important these feelings are to you, and if necessary, try again.

There are no hopeless situations. Sooner or later, relatives will be able to understand that, for all the complexity of the relationship, such an experience will benefit you.

How to forget your first love

There are times when the first love is not only possible but also necessary to be forgotten. For example, you do not like a soul in a young man, but he simply uses you. It is necessary to gather the will into a fist and, despite strong affection, just leave.

From such a relationship, you will only get pain and disappointment. Selfish natures change with difficulty, so you should not cherish the hope that tomorrow your loved one will be different.

Video: unhappy love - first love must be unhappy love

And what to do in a situation when, even a few years after separation, love remains in the heart, interfering with new relationships?

It must be unambiguously released. Leave the past in the past or keep it at the level of fond memories. Learn to live in the present.

First love is a storm of emotions that can be compared to very powerful hypnosis. Young people, seized by still unknown feelings, are in a kind of fog that interferes with a sober assessment of the situation.

It is unlikely that it will ever be possible to survive a similar story, so childhood and youthful love remains in the soul forever.

First love is the brightest, most sincere and purest feeling, this is a state when you want to sing, laugh, when the whole world seems huge and beautiful, the sky is higher and bluer, the sun is brighter and warmer, and the night stars are simply incredibly beautiful and emit a mysterious, mysterious, magic light.

First love paints life in rainbow new colors, making a person happy and sublime. First love remains in a person's heart forever. Each person experiences the feeling of first love and remembers those exciting moments all his life, recalls with tender warmth that spiritual awe and the object of his passions, which seemed the most beautiful, the most extraordinary, the most tender in the world.

First love inspires, encourages good and kind deeds, a person strives for self-improvement, tries to become better, stands out from the crowd of his peers, often during strong first feelings poetry and music are born, a person wants to improve his body, improve his physical characteristics.
First love is not only happy and joyful emotions, but also the first disappointments, griefs, the first betrayal and the first pain from unrequited love, the first bitter tears and the first emotional experiences.

First love is often unrequited and brings a lot of grief, heartache and tears, but still a person is happy even from the fact that he just saw the object of his sighing, one glance is enough to feel joy and become happy.

First love plays an important role in our life, invaluable life experience is gained in communication, a person goes through tests of his personal qualities, learns to build new relationships with the opposite sex.

Why is the first love remembered for a lifetime and remembered with tenderness and awe, because these feelings visited you for the first time, filled your soul with wonderful longing and joy, opened the way to a new, unknown, fantastic world of love.

The first child's love passes, leaving an indelible mark on the soul, it remains in the memory forever, the first love will be followed by another love, more mature, adult, and maybe real.

When does first love come?

The first love comes to every person in due time, unexpectedly. Feelings of first love are also experienced by small children, who still do not at all comprehend what kind of feelings they were visited by quite adult people who have lived for many years in marriage, who have raised children and grandchildren.

It can come at any time of the year: in cold winter, and then the trees covered with snow will seem fabulous and extraordinary, and each snowflake will look like a wonderful silvery flower. And dank autumn, but you are in love and do not notice the gray dull days, but see the wonderful golden colors of autumn, in which the foliage of the trees is painted. And it is so romantic to walk during the fall of the leaves, holding the hand of a loved one in your hand. And in the summer, when it seems that all the flowers of the earth have bloomed for you. But the most wonderful time for love is spring, all nature awakens from winter sleep, the soul sings and is filled with happiness, and you notice how loudly the spring drops ring, how brightly the sun shines, how the first leaves on the trees bloom, how the birds chirp cheerfully.

Kindergarten love

For many people, their first love happens in kindergarten. A baby in love begins to take care of his beloved, protect her from pugnacious boys, treats her to sweets, which he stores for her in the evening, picks flowers for her. And the girls look after the boys, help them dress, fasten their sandals, give toys, sweets, fruits, demand beautiful dresses and shoes from their parents, dress up to please their chosen one.

They kiss and hug, feel sad and jealous, longing if a loved one or a loved one is sick and do not go to kindergarten. Children's love is the brightest, the most holy, and it does not matter at all that the girl is a whole head taller than the boy, and that instead of braids she has mouse tails and she is all in freckles, but she laughs so lively and infectiously, and dances better than anyone else. And the boy is small, thin and with protruding ears, but he runs the fastest and he has a beautiful badge.

Do not laugh at your child's first love, do not criticize his chosen one or chosen one, if you are entrusted with a secret secret - keep it, do not tell your friends and relatives. Support your child, if his love is unrequited, teach how to behave, how to properly care for, because often, in order to attract attention, boys offend the object of their attention, bully, pull girls by their braids or untie bows, hide their favorite toys. In your child, the first foundations of relationships with the opposite sex are laid, and so that in the future everything goes well in his life, teach him to correctly perceive any situation.

School love

School love is the next stage in the development of the child's personality, this is the period when the child learns to feel and experience, and parents and teachers must explain to children how to behave in relation to the opposite sex.

During the period of first love, adolescents undergo emotional changes. Boys, in order to hide their feelings for the girl they like from their peers, and to avoid ridicule, often call the girl names, push her, pull her hair, hide her portfolio. At the same time trying to attract the attention of the girl with such behavior. Some girls also behave in such a way that the boy would pay attention to them, push him, hit him on the head with a book.

Boys and girls begin to offer each other friendship, write notes, boys accompany girls home, carry their bags.

It often happens that school love is massive, all boys may like the same girl, or vice versa, all girls in the class are in love with one boy.

During this period, they fall in love with a person's appearance, with his personal qualities, with his character, love for the fact that they study best, for the mind.

In high school, first one couple in love appears, and then the whole class and the whole school is covered by an epidemic of love. After all, it is important for a teenager to feel like everyone else, and so that his girlfriends are jealous, and in order to rise in the eyes of his peers, he tries to create a couple for himself, even if there is no feeling of love, but many already have a couple, which means he also needs.

Often girls, and some boys, keep a diary where they write down all their experiences, describe every meeting with their chosen one, every look, gesture, and hide their notes in secret places.

And if parents find the diaries of their children and, having read about the love of their child, they begin to scold him, criticize, ridicule him: “I will show you love! Go learn your lessons better ”- they cause psychological trauma to the child with their incorrect behavior and can permanently lose the child's confidence in themselves. In adolescence, a fragile soul is very vulnerable, a child can withdraw into himself, and will never share his feelings and innermost secrets with you.

A teenager feels mature, independent, wants to be independent, but he still does not have enough life experience, and he can make serious mistakes, face various problems that are often very difficult for him to solve.

Therefore, parents should be especially attentive and sensitive to their children during their first love, should help to sort out his feelings, experiences, suggest how to behave in difficult situations, support, because for a teenager, love is a new, unknown feeling that has come first.

Treat your child's first love with understanding, do not leave him alone and anxious, talk to him about love, tell him what love is, watch films about first love together. And your child will be safe, will not make stupid and irreparable mistakes, will see you as a reliable friend and advisor, and will turn to you for advice and support, and not to peers.
School love most often has a romantic relationship, but a teenager is already developing sexual desires, as biological maturation takes place in his body. School love is the first date and the first kiss, it is also the first sexual contact, it is no secret that some modern high school students have experience in sexual relationships. And parents just need to timely educate their grown-up children in matters of love and sex, instill in them a sense of responsibility for themselves and for the one to whom they feel love and attraction, prepare them for adulthood and protect them from unwanted pregnancy.

Youthful love

Youthful love is already more meaningful than kindergarten and school love. Young people who graduated from school, who have matured, are already thinking about their future, about creating a family, about having children. This is already open love, when freely, without hiding from classmates and adults, you can safely walk in the park, holding hands or embracing with your chosen one or chosen one.

These are already real adult kisses and intimate intimacy, this is responsibility for yourself and your soul mate, this is making the right decisions and taking deliberate actions. Feelings of boundless joy and great happiness have a positive effect on the psychological development of young people and memories of the first youthful love persist for many years and fill the soul with tenderness and awe.

So what is first love? These are bright wonderful feelings that first visited a person, this is the desire to be with a loved one forever and to see him every minute, without stopping to look into his eyes, and to feel happy and loved. These are pleasant memories of childhood, youth, which remain with us for life and warm our hearts.

At what age can the first true love appear? What to do with her, tell her parents or not? Or maybe a friend or friend first?

TATIANA ALEKSEEVA

I had my first love at the age of 16, I think that it is very useful for a person to experience such emotions, but I did not tell my mother!

My first love was at the age of 18. Of course, before that there were girls who I liked, but in order to truly fall in love, this feeling arose only at 18.
At this age, and even more so, boys do not talk about a similar topic with their parents.

Yes, now, from the height of the past years, I clearly know that the first true love is not forgotten. After parting with my beloved girl, I looked for her features in my new acquaintances ... And only nine years later I fell in love again. But the first love will always remain the first and will stand apart from the Ekibana of subsequent bright and strong feelings.

And my first love was in the sixth grade, I didn't tell my mother anything then, I trusted only the diary. Now I am a mother myself, and I would like my daughter to share everything with me.

Oh, this feeling is strange. I remember that I didn’t tell anyone much, since it was not mutual ... In general, I tried to get sick with it as soon as possible.

I met my first love at 14, my mother guessed it herself, it lasted 5 years, now we don't even say hello, I'm married, he's not. I regret a little about the time spent on it!

Children's love is not true love, but if we talk about teenage feelings, then this is more serious! My parents knew my first boyfriend well, he was decent. But the distance separated us ... Although I still continued to love him for a long time!

The first feeling arose at the end of the ninth grade, and managed to fall in love with a classmate. For three months it was a secret, while there was a vacation, and then both parents and girlfriends found out.

I believe that in adolescence, girls and boys fall in love very easily, focusing only on the external signs of the object of sighing, in an older age - you already look at the inner world of a person. so, I would not take first love seriously

The first time I fell in love was in kindergarten. But the real first love came only at the age of 17. She did not tell anyone about this, she was even afraid to admit it to herself. And when she told her loved one about her feelings, I immediately wanted to shout about it to the whole world.

My first true love was at the age of 13. Somehow I didn’t tell anyone, but all my relatives and friends knew for some reason. Parents, teachers and friends were all in the know.

Olga Shvets

And my first love was born in a summer youth camp - I was 12 years old, and he was 14 and he invited me to a slow dance at a disco!

For me, this nagging, alluring feeling was a novelty and a wonder - I did not tell anyone, I was ashamed and afraid of these new emotions and sensations for me ...

That's when I realized that love is not always mutual and beautiful, but painfully tormenting the soul and consciousness!

My first sympathy for the opposite sex happened at the age of 5, in the class I liked many boys in turn, but mutual love arose at the age of 18, but my first and true love came to me at 24.

As far back as I can remember, as a child, I did not want to share with my parents my sympathy for boys, and when I really fell in love, I got carried away, I told my mother almost everything, because it was extremely necessary for me. Mom supported me and helped me with advice, and I am very grateful to her for that.

The first love happened in the first grade. His name was Vova. He was such a boy with big blue eyes. In the second grade, we went to live in another city.

Vitalina

I fell in love for the first time when I was 12 and I loved him for six years. My real first love was absolutely unrequited. And then he got married and left for another city and I gradually forgot him, if at all you can forget your first love.

"I fell in love for the first time at 14, then at 14:30, 15:00, etc." - that's how it all began.
I remember pretty well the guys I met. I would like to change a lot, some even ask for forgiveness, to say thank you to someone.
Ask if you still have feelings for them?
-Hmm ... More likely yes than no ...

My first love was at the age of 18. My grandmother was the first to know about her, she loved me very much and felt all my joys and experiences with her heart. Then my friends found out, and the most recent - the object of my love!

Persian KFych

The first true love can appear at any age. Most often, the first love is remembered for a lifetime. Girls usually talk about their first love to their close friend, and boys tell their mothers or are silent altogether. My first love was at the age of 11 and this I will always remember)

I had my first love at the age of 12. And my parents knew this boy very well. And his parents knew me. We went to visit each other and walked together. This lasted for about a year. Then we parted. And after 12 years he returned again ... only now he is my true love!

I was in love when I was seven years old. She studied with me in the same class and I believed that there is no more girl more beautiful and better than her. Later it turned out that this was not so.) The real first love came at the age of 15 and still lasts

My first true love was at the age of 16 and the relationship was quite serious, they lasted 4 years. Until now, this person is in my heart, despite the fact that 2 years have passed since the breakup. After this relationship, I understand that you need to appreciate and cherish loved one, the most annoying thing is that he was a very good guy, and I took it for granted. Anyway, everything is ahead

The first love- This is a feeling that many attribute to the most powerful and sincere emotional experiences from the entire spectrum available to a person during his life. The first feeling of falling in love begins in most cases under the influence of a hormonal surge, but due to the novelty and brightness of what is happening, it generates an illusory feeling that first love is forever. It is an elevated and even magical state that motivates a person to think about the happiness of another, adds energy, imagination and optimism. All systems of the body work in an increased mode, thanks to which lovers are able to carry out actions bordering on feats (do not sleep for days, do not eat, walk a distance of tens of kilometers). Cognitive functions also increase, but only with respect to the object of falling in love (that is, to calculate the time of the schedules of two people in such a way as to carve out an extra minute of meeting is easy, but solving the equation for the second class can cause difficulties).

First love is the stage of initiation and contains the most valuable life experience that is not erased from and is able to influence the future life of the individual, as well as the development of interpersonal relationships.

People deal differently with their first love and memories of it. Someone wants to return those vivid feelings, someone will bask in the memories, and someone prefers not to remember and not meet. It all depends on what the first love was filled with and how it ended.

What is first love?

First love is a kind of stage in the development of personality, which helps to form the ability to accept another. A common reason for the end of the first strong feeling is precisely the intensity of passions. In such a state, a person notices only his own new ones, and does not love another, he loves rather his emerging state, attitude, love itself. The object of love is not strongly noticed, only one's own need for it is felt. Passing the experience of first falling in love teaches you to notice and take care of another person, to express your feelings in the most acceptable form, to show attention and the ability to build contact, dialogue, spending time together.

First love leaves an imprint on which partners a person will choose in the future, and which scenarios he will adhere to when building a relationship. If the experience was painful, and it was not possible to draw constructive conclusions and appropriate the experience gained, then it is highly likely that a person will transfer this unlived experience into his future life (choose similar partners, continue to make the same mistakes). Such actions are of an unconscious nature and are aimed at resolving the situation in the past, seeking to recreate it until the desired positive result appears.

Any situation tends to end, and it is better to return to unlived feelings, see what this person teaches you and the experience of the past, in order to have more power over your own emotional life in the future. It is unspoken words of love or an unlived parting that can push you back into the arms of a person who simply used or changed significantly over the past time, but these changes will not allow you to see his image frozen in yours.

When does first love come?

The first words that the first love has appeared begin to fly off the lips even in kindergarten, when the time comes for the next stage of sexual development and the child notices the difference between boys and girls, acquires his own sex role. To call this feeling love, despite the baby's promises to "marry Masha", no one takes it seriously, and for the lover himself it is very easy to change the object. This is not love yet, but training in managing social roles, trying on a new image, exploring the reactions of others in the light of new information.

First love and its beginning are roughly the same for many people, and this is a natural phenomenon due to hormonal changes and the completion of the process of puberty. Such falling in love has a chain reaction in adolescence, and soon after the first couple it turns out that everyone is in love.

At the age of 11 to 16, sexual desire is realized, which, due to the lack of experience of these experiences, is confused with first love. Also, due to age characteristics, one of the basic needs of a teenager is recognition and a desire to be liked. Against the background of a sharp fluctuation in mood and the division of all life events into excellent and terrible, and people into friends and enemies, it is easy to succumb to the illusion and decide that first love is forever, only thanks to the approval of a certain person and the novelty of sensations.

If relationships arise on the basis of sincere feelings, and not a desire to merge with a crowd of peers who are already mired in Shakespeare's passions, then the torment and anxiety associated with the analysis of their own behavior follow. Many complexes and psychological barriers, lack of experience in building relationships add unnecessary discomfort to an already bewildered lover.

What many consider the first love is more likely to be taken for falling in love, since this feeling is dictated mainly by physiological needs, and not spiritual ones. That is why the first loves end in parting, because a person develops, begins to look closely at his companion, when the hormonal storm subsides even a little and often finds a person nearby who is far from the ideals, values ​​and aspirations inherent in his own soul.

True love follows this hormonal explosion. When there is already an interest not just in emotions, but in the personality and thoughts of the chosen one, when the experience of interaction with the opposite sex has been obtained, and when new knowledge about oneself has appeared. This usually happens at the end of school or at the beginning of the institute, but it all depends on the person, his personality traits, readiness to open up to another.

Those who have had a traumatic experience of teenage falling in love may close themselves off from romantic feelings and not have relationships and feelings for a long time. Those who experienced it more or less positively and took into account the mistakes they made, dust themselves off and begin to love.

When does first love come? First love flares up against the background of common hobbies or spending time together, it may be mutual and lead to a wedding, or it may not be mutual. In any case, this is a step in the development of one's own personality, whether it is the ability to show one's concern for a person, to support, the development of the skill of resolving conflict situations or self-development, the purpose of which is initially to please the object of love, and the result can be very different. And if a person is not able to see the next stage of development in what is happening, but plunges into, closes off from the world, stops taking steps forward and regresses, then the question may arise how to forget the first love after many years.

How to know love at first sight?

Love at first sight can arise in a fifth of a second, and this speed of inspiring feelings is due to hormonal release and is not an uncommon occurrence. There are several reasons for the existence of such a mechanism, and the first of them is genetic, based on the fact that for the appearance of healthy offspring, a certain genetic compatibility is needed, which is calculated in these few moments, and accordingly, the stronger the sympathy, the better the genetic match for the continuation of a strong and hardy kind is possible. The analysis of physical and intellectual capabilities is useless here, everything happens at the level of smell and pheromones. Another reason for the emergence of quick love is the similarity of the faces of lovers (a person seems familiar in advance, which inspires confidence) and the benevolence of the mood, the interest of the object of love in another. On a similar basis, it’s likely to quickly fall in love with someone similar to their parents, even if only in a few ways.

So it is worth taking a closer look at your chosen one with a cool head and looking for if you have anything in common besides a successful combination of chromosomes. Evaluate the degree of closeness of your level of education, life, cultural preferences, because it may turn out that you will not have anything but great sex together due to an insurmountable cultural divide. Decide what kind of relationship you expect, and if this is something light and short-lived, then physical attraction is enough, if you are applying for a serious romance, you will have to take a closer look.

Love at first sight has its own virtues, such as the absence of searching for a partner, comparisons, disappointments and long lapping. This is where negative sides can lie in wait, because if you hurry up and don't get to know the person better, then the likelihood of divorce increases. Such trifles as everyday life and habits, religious and political views seem insignificant only on the wave of emotional upsurge, which will surely subside and it would be good at this moment to be in the same apartment with a person who shares your goals and principles.

Love at first sight requires endurance and the ability to keep your emotions under control. You should not rush and overwhelm the object of your feelings with confessions, even absolutely sincerely, such behavior is alarming and makes you think about frivolity.

It happens that love at first sight and its rapid occurrence is due to prolonged loneliness or being among those who are not interesting or from another circle. This state is insidious, those that the image of a person is invented and hung on a new acquaintance, while the real state of affairs is not possible to notice. Take a break, clarify things that are obvious to you, check if this person is like that or you invented him that way.

How to forget your first love?

First love is one of the strongest experiences that a person experiences, it affects the events of the future life and leaves its imprint on the soul of everyone. That is why it is impossible to forget the first beloved, whether this love is happy and mutual or not. The memory of this can live, even when a happy life with someone else has already been built, and inspire a pleasant romanticism, they tell grandchildren about this. Although it happens that these can deliver unpleasant emotions, and there is a desire to delete them. First, you should honestly answer to yourself whether you really want to forget your first love, because dramatic experiences can serve as a fuel for creativity or motivation for achievement, perhaps this is how you protect yourself from other relationships, giving all your reserve strength to experiencing negative emotions. What happens if this memory disappears? Where does creativity come from, why to achieve success and how to communicate in a new format? Many new and difficult questions arise after this, and perhaps even unnecessary changes.

Forgetting the next relationship is usually easier, the wounds after them heal faster, but with the first love everything is more complicated. It is unlikely that you will be able to forget it, but you can stop reacting so painfully and regain the colors of a full life. You should not be fenced off from friends and hobbies, try to continue living as before, observing the same schedule as before. Things that did not lead to a significant change in life pass faster, and by maintaining social contacts, you can receive support. Staying with the same activities does not mean staying in the same emotional state and putting on a smile, cry when sad memories roll in, let your feelings go out.

How to forget your first love? Usually, when parting, a lot of free energy appears, which was previously spent in a relationship, and then begins to be directed to memories and suffering, hatching plans to return and depressive thoughts. Let this energy go on your dreams, for which there was not enough time or energy (study, travel, new projects, creativity).

At first, you will have to monitor your thoughts so that they do not constantly revolve around the object of your affection, and also do not acquire an unreal catastrophic character ("I will not be happy anymore," "I will never love," etc.). Try to take care of yourself and provide for basic needs (maintain sleep, provide adequate nutrition, look after your appearance), as often such ordinary and automatic things against the background of strong experiences become less significant, but their violation can only aggravate the situation.

How to forget and survive parting with your first love? To reduce the painfulness of memories, it is worth analyzing these relationships, understanding what good they brought, what they taught. By analyzing the past, you care about your own future, and you will not make the same mistakes or start messing with the wrong person.

When wondering how to forget their first love after many years, many forget about the good moments and concentrate on the bad ones, which usually happens when trying to completely remove the memories. If you give them some time to flow freely, then you can notice a lot of bright memories, encouraging words, practical advice that can be useful in the present moment, cause a smile and gratitude to a person.

Over time, the understanding comes that there was nothing special and unique in the first love, just the brightness of perception against the background of the absence of such experience. If you compare your new relationship with your first love, then they always lose in saturation, but not in depth. Like all the first, the first love will be brighter, like the first day in a new place is always brighter than the next. Compare the quality of the relationship if you're already making comparisons instead of enjoying the uniqueness of what is happening.

So, how to forget your first love after many years? Set new life goals or return to fulfilling old ones that were forgotten because of love itself or the experience of separation. Such activities can help you distract yourself and fill in empty areas of life, tighten up gaps, or reach new heights. An unacceptable option for distraction is to enter into a new relationship without realizing the previous situation. This is an unconditionally strong method, and, of course, you will be distracted from your worries thanks to a new partner, but you risk ending up with a ruined personal life again, repeating the same mistakes.

Get rid of things that remind you of your first love, and fill the places with new emotions (arrange a picnic with your friends in the meadow where you were sitting or go roller-skating with your friend along the streets where you liked to walk). Stay busy with your life, not constantly looking at your ex's social media profile.

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