The secret of calm or how to forget the past forever. Build a happy life. How to forget past
Everyone experienced periods in his life, which would not want to remember. Many, despite the difficulties, cope with it and continue to live on, only sometimes recalling the past troubles. Others constantly think about it, thereby making themselves the opportunity to rejoice at the present and future events. They want to go back and fix something so that their life would be different.
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It does not matter what exactly the person oppresses: parting with a man, the death of a beloved guy, the feeling of guilt, the missed opportunities or betrayal of a woman. It is necessary to try forever erase from the memory of the past to start living with the present. The Duma about the past negative events are not able to improve the life of a person, they deprive him of happiness.
Why the past does not let go
Many are tormented by the question: why some even after severe tests and shocks are easily restored and able to start a new life, and the rest fall into depression for many years after an unsuccessful one-month novel. A person seems to be stuck in resentment and inexpensive, constantly feeling negative, non-dissolute to forget the painful situation, and all the time spends in the longing.
Possible reasons:
- Laying. Sometimes it happens, because a person likes to regret himself and he does not want to change, because it is convenient for him to sit in his sink and cherish his trouble, closing from his environment. It looks like masochism.
- Fear of defeat. Because of the negative received, a person thinks that if he did not work before, he would never work. Or, if someone sometimes offended him, he will arrive again. Psychologists compare this with driving of a car: if the passenger cannot look forward, he really wants to watch the rearview mirror in which there is only a road that has already passed. This is the past.
Instead of just sometimes look back, a person does not look at the future at all. It is better to always look forward, and back to look around only in order to feel feedback with your real actions.
Many people are very difficult to let go of the past independently, without resorting to the help of a specialist. But before you go to a psychologist, you can try to do it yourself. It all depends on the age, personality and character, on which atmosphere the childhood of man took place. Healing from the solar wounds - the procedure is difficult and long, but whatever cargo hung over the shoulders, each person has forces for this. The most efficient advice of psychologists:
| Council | Description |
| Take a solid solution | In order to immediately and forever forget about the past, re-start living, determined. It is necessary to accept the irrevocable decision to free yourself from it and start working with this problem. It will take a very strong desire: just take the fact that time is fleeting, and the Duma about the past takes the present |
| Throw the negative on paper | It is necessary to find time to stay in silence alone with yourself. Arming paper sheet and try to throw out everything that has accumulated in my head. You need to record each item, not embarrassed in expressions. If you want to cry or scream - do it. All of themselves should be released, because it is possible to completely free themselves. It does not happen so that absolutely all the past was bad, so you need to try to find in it positive: write a few such moments. After parting with the bad, you need to take this sheet, carefully re-read it and thank the fate for everything good what happened in the past. It is necessary to understand what exactly prevents the past, which negative emotions: insult, sadness, wines, regret or anger. Work out every emotion in turn and let go |
| To apologize | Today it does not matter what exactly happened and who is to blame for this. You can not turn the time ago, because the case is done and the real suffering will not change it. You can mentally obey, forgive (husband), even visit the church. Draw in your imagination a picture of a meeting with every offended person (wife, girl) and words forgiveness. Sometimes for complete release requires not one such psychological session, but the earlier work will begin on this, the sooner release comes. If the contacts are well known to those who are offended, you need to find it and apologize, to be jealous |
| Forgive yourself | All people, without exception, is the right to make a mistake. If it seems that the perfect misconduct is too serious or ask for forgiveness is no longer anyone, you can switch to the care of others. It is impossible to change the past, you can try to make the happier life of other people: engage in volunteering in a nursing home, orphanage or just help the neighbors. It is necessary to try to let go from the heart of the insult and pain on all who once offended. This is quite enough to rebound the page. |
| Forgive yourself | You need to forgive yourself. It should be remembered that others forgive much easier. Sometimes a person is not even aware that he has long been with himself offense. This is usually manifested in complexes, constant feeling of guilt, insufficient self-esteem or dissatisfaction with life. To get rid of this painful state, you need to open as much as possible and forgive yourself. For this, psychologists advise special exercise: to present themselves in the past kid, and in the present - adult and reasonable. To mentally arrange a meeting with them and sincerely forgive the baby, thank him for the experience gained and forever say goodbye to him. It should be realized that no past errors make a person worse or evil. Do not destroy self-confidence by constant thinking of their reproduction and punish yourself with harsh condemns |
| Distract | It should be understood that the person and his mistakes are not the same thing. Only so you can agree with your past. It is necessary to understand how much energy and strength is being wondering when a person regrets himself and lives in the past and try to change himself. Great hike in the beauty salon, image shift or search for individual style. You can go on foreign language, driving or sewing courses. The best means - sports. With the appearance in the life of new classes, a person does not have time to think about the load of the past. Constant meditation about spent time, bad relationships and missed opportunities - the path to nowhere. All this, as well as pity - destructive feelings |
| Change the situation | We must try to change your gaze on the current situation, because valuable experience has been obtained, learning about errors. It is necessary to try to prevent them from repetition. It is worth thinking about whether past events are really so important. Most likely, this is not the case, especially compared to something truly important. It is necessary to draw yourself a holistic picture and, if it are little things, do not experience because of them. Such perception will help rise to a higher level of consciousness. Instead of a feeling of jams in the past, the perception of great opportunities will come. This method helps to quickly free themselves from the shipment of the past. |
| Creatively visualize liberation | You need to close your eyes and draw a mentally picture of the liberation: to imagine that the old program is deleted on the computer hard disk. After removing it, you need to convince yourself that everything is bad for forever gone along with this program. It must be understood that the past is no longer and it will never return. It cannot be changed, but you can influence the real events. For this, there is a respiratory meditation that allows a person to focus on "here and now." This allows you to increase the ability to take actions and expand your capabilities. |
| Stop thinking about the past | It is necessary to stop thinking about the past, look into the future and apply all the existing experience in order for tomorrow's day to become successful, happy and full love. The concentration on the past takes all the vital energy, so you need to learn how to competently manage your life and get the opportunity to become happy now, no matter what happened in the past. If a person presents what he wants, it will lead it to positive actions, because our consciousness is a desire. Therefore, people need the perfect picture of the future. Do not think about what the rest will think. Need to find your ideal and strive for it |
| Let out emotions | If the pain is still so fresh and negative does not give rest, do not try to be strong. You can afford a little sink, cry, release your emotions (break the dishes), to breed the punching punching. Excellent remedy - clear space: throw away all the trash from home, upgrade the wardrobe, get into the trifles. This will help physically feel how life changes for the better. |
Throw the negative of the past and release the offense is much easier than it seems. The main thing is to start right now, and after a short time a person is drawn into a new and happy life.
Pleasant memories, subtitles and nostalgia last time - innocuous guests of any particular life.
But sometimes our past becomes enemy №1, preventing success, self-realization and choice of the right path.
Therefore, it is necessary to say goodbye to the rehabils of the past, irritation on yourself for the former, old wounds and a sense of guilt of a decade ago!
While you are looked at what happened once, and scroll the options in my head ("I had to say otherwise", "it was worth acting, and not silent," "I would have been now ..."), you are standing on the spot. You are inert, busy waste time, energy and all your life.
Much more productive past forget and let go. But how to live on?
The one who teased at school feels uncertain in a circle of quite loyal colleagues. "Ugly duckling" with difficulty believes in its freshly acquired beauty, and the "white crow" and does not try to find mutual understanding with the new environment.
The one who has experienced pressure in the family is becoming worse. And the one that sealed the sea tears, having survived the betrayal of the girlfriend and the boyfriend, is painfully afraid of a serious relationship. 
All this is the load of the past, personal ballast, and each - even the most successful in appearance - he is his own.
This cargo pulls on the bottom, Izmoltshes, whispering over the shoulder, which this time will not come out, and everything will remain.
It is the past that will be the culprit of the coming failures if you do not throw it out of my head.
How to Forget Past: Logical Method
Parting with the past is the process of not easy. On the one hand, it is impossible to just take and hang a barn castle on the door, behind which the memories live.
Tightenfully closing access to this information, you will lose and useful experiences, and joyful moments. In addition, the dam will break down sooner or later, and Collapse will happen.
On the other hand, over the years to the caring "If yes, Kaba" is completely unproductive. Tract time, yes and only! What to do? The past need to survive, leaving it only light images and valuable conclusions.
Although they say that they learn exactly on mistakes and failures, but the looping of the old troubles and the ancient complexes is the way back, and not forward.
In the fight against the past fears, it is worth thinking logically: remove everything useful, which could give this experience, draw conclusions, define the perpetrators, and, having learned a lesson, go on. Or maybe it was generally a "storm in a glass", and the horror is injected your pathogical?
You can take a specific situation that oppresses you and paint in the notebook all the nuances of what happened: the benefit for all sides, which he taught you the story, cons and pros.
As a result, it may turn out that, at least in memory, this event was painted in black tones, but it was not so bad. Not useless!
Perhaps it was hardening the battle, training in front of great accomplishments. Or verification of character. Or the liberation of space for new friendship, work or love.
Do not dismiss you with that position (albeit because of the offensive nonsense, we recognize!), You would not turn out to be at the present point. There would be no new buddies, interests, knowledge. You would not get acquainted with the current husband, did not start the child and so on.
How to Forget Past: Emotional Approach
Think what specifically emotion are you experiencing, thinking about an unpleasant moment? There may be a resentment on the surface, and anger on people who have deprived you of confidence in themselves, and sadness because of the inability to return and fix everything ... But in the depths there may be shame, fear or even anger on yourself.
Both shame, and anger - meaningless, unproductive emotions that destroy your inner temple, injected by the body, as if mold. If negative feelings are strong, you have a long work to rethink the situation (and is there any reason to be ashamed?).
Of course, in the launched cases, it will be more effective to appeal to a psychologist: it will help to "open" and "process" the old wound, and it will cease to bring pain.
Only stopping yourself to torment and criticize, you will discover the way to the future. Remember the main thing - the past is no reason so called, because it has already passed, it ended, and cannot have an impact on you here and now. It is no more.
Avoid reminders
Some stories are still better to put in a black box and do not pull them out until the pain subsides.
Do not store things in the house, from the look at which everything pops up in your soul.
Do not dine in a cafe, where you learned the unpleasant news, do not wear clothes that you put on the funeral of relatives.
Sometimes the passage of the past you can get rid of not figuratively, but more than real. Throw away the old trash, reminding unhappy childhood and school offense.
Remove the gifts from the shelf gifts of the boyfriend, throwing you before the anniversary. Remove the classmates graduate from friends so that her name does not flasher in the tape daily.
Ask your loved ones not to talk to you on your chosen topics to give you a time to digest, survive and forget.
Open positive thinking
Your perception plays a leading role: the past can be both ballast and luggage.
If you are cheerful and rethink the situation in a positive line, then there will be no reason to abandon the past.
In the end, this is part of you: without stuck friends of classmates, without deceiving the head, without a lie of your beloved man and a number of offensive failures, you would not be the whole, strong and wise person, which is.
The only thing to do is to take it entirely, love all your features and dashes and thank the past for the lessons.
5 effective advice how to forget the past to start living in the present and gain happiness in the future.
Past, present and future - this is what human life consists of.
Despite the presence of many fantastic films, a person still has not learned to travel in the past to be able to correct his mistakes or prevent tragedy.
That is why it is so important to know how to forget pastTo start living in real, to gain happiness in the future.
Are those who try to forget the past?
People in relation to the events that occurred are divided into 3 groups:
- Those who prefer to deserve in the past, and not to move into the future.
- Those who do not extract them their past have no lessons, a galloping step flying to the future.
- Those who remember and respect their past, but focus on the future.
The most optimal attitude to their past demonstrate representatives of the group group.
Anyone for his life takes many decisions, makes a bunch of deeds, is experiencing enough and happy moments, and disappointments.
It is on my mistakes that we learn, so it is impossible to fully cross out the last one.
But some events that happened to us earlier (for example, a difficult divorce or meeting with the criminal), it is better to let go, otherwise you can never move on or gain happiness in the future.
The last time will keep you in your tenacious paws without giving straight wings.
The most common cases of stupid clinging for their past are women who cannot say goodbye to old relationships, to forget the resentment, applied or a guy, and finally focus on new relationships.
You never noticed that it was the ladies who tell everyone about their divorce, about what bastard was their former husband, although since their divorce has passed 5 years and the "bastard" has long gained happiness in another marriage, doomed for loneliness?
Take care of such aunts and you will understand that I am right.
While they will not find a way to forget the past and will not find the strength to free the place for the future, there will be no sense.
How to forget the past without harm for the present?
I have already said that I consider the position "I remember about the past, but I focus on the future."
After all, last with us happened not only bad, but also good, but if you are trying to easily forget the past, then forget not only grief, but also joy, right?
Well, let's imagine such a story.
Marina girl in one beauty salon.
He began with the post of assistant administrator, and for 5 years he served before the director.
Her successful career was interrupted by the Salon Accountant, and Marina was forced to quit.
But, completely forget the last - meaning to forget all the knowledge and skills that she received at the previous job place, all the pleasant moments of communication with a good team, all material bonuses, joy from each increase, etc.
That is, trying to forget the past you need with the mind: pick up with you everything is good and useful, filming everything bad so that it does not overshoot your life.
What prevents us to forget the past?
Surely every person at least once, but there was such a situation when you, despite all the efforts, constantly return to thoughts to some kind of act or an event in our past.
Well, here it is not possible to let everything go.
Do not worry, everything is fine with you.
There are quite objective reasons that prevent you from forgetting the past.
Here are the most common of them:
Guilt.
The past often does not let the perpetrators in some kind of crime or even in a small offense.
The more conscientious person, the harder will be the burden of his guilt.
If you committed something bad not for evil intent, then they simply must finally forgive themselves.
But the most faithful way to forget the last and say goodbye to the feeling of guilt - try to correct the situation: return what is taken away, ask for forgiveness for the disadvantage, try to somehow compensate for the loss.
You will immediately become easier.
The desire to return the past.
Sometimes you need to forget not so much bad that happened in your past as good.
The most significant example of a stupid clinging over the past, because there was much better than now, - loss of property and provisions in the Elite society after wars or other cataclysms.
So it was in the United States after the Civil War and the Great Depression, in Europe - after the First World War, in Russia - after the revolution of 1917.
The nobility and major entrepreneurs who lost their capital palaces and titles, forced to adapt to the new life, spent all the strength on the nagging and complaints, not wanting to let go of the past and live by the real.
How can I forget the past? Forever with him to say goodbye!
Rituals are very important in any business.
Once on one of the trainings, I heard an interesting idea that marriage could not be considered a marriage until the ritual passed.
When we, young and modern, indignantly knocked out, the coach explained to us that I meant: not a stamp in the passport, namely the ritual.
Decide, they say, itselves that it will be: the traditional painting in the registry office, wedding in the church or some jesting ceremony on the seashore in the circle of friends, but without a ritual - in no way.
Rituals can be used in the event that you can't forget the past.
With the help of what ceremony you will defect with them - your business.
If we are talking about the former husband, you can take all his things and throw them away.
You can get rid of the inscribed from you earlier by writing a letter to all your offensive: "I forgive you for something and that ...", and then burn this letter.
You can come up with your cheerful ritual, the main thing is to effectively say goodbye to your past, to forget it as soon as possible and start a rapid movement forward.
Forget the past is not easy, I admit it.
Sometimes you have to use the entire arsenal of funds to finally start living with the present.
Here are a few more useful tips that will help:
Do not be afraid of change.
No matter how you love stability, you need to understand that nothing in this world is forever.
Everything changes.
You need to change with this world, otherwise you quickly find yourself in board.
In addition, many changes can only go for you for good, and not to harm.
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Do not look back.
Teach yourself not to say: "But if I had then did so ..." or "But before ...".
Past do not turn and do not fix it.
Focus on the present and on the achievement of goals in the future.
Live today so that you do not have to regret the last.
Every day, it gives us so many opportunities to change your life for the better.
But for some reason, not everyone is in a hurry to take advantage of this opportunity, preferring to nostalgrate for what was once.
The end of any relationship is a significant change in life, even in cases where you get the initiator of the rupture, and this gap is fully realized. How to forget and start a new life. Psychologist tips are published below. The gap is a sufficiently serious shock of a person's psyche that can violate many physiological and mental processes. But still life with such, let and global, changes do not end. And if you follow some tips, it will help you forget everything soon, come to yourself and live without spending time on empty suffering and experiences.
Sincere conversation will help forget and start a new life
First, in order to quickly forget the past and enter into a new life, in no case hold back your feelings and experiences. At a minimum, talk to a close friend, and you can even visit a psychologist. Do not think about the bad, perceive what is happening as a step in a new happy life. Conduct more time on the street, go shopping, everywhere distracting yourself. You can still get involved in reading an exciting book, or see the recently released movie, which has not enough time. Also a good occupation will be visited from the gym, fitness club.
To forget the old life, strive to get positive impressions
The transition to something new is always complicated, but it can cause a loved one again. Forget and start a new life will help a new hobby. Own needs and interests are not better help to return self-confidence and re-love themselves as you are. You can also completely surrender to work, but this is if it gives you pleasure and brings positive emotions. Try to let go of the past and all the memories associated with it, bad or good.
Do not try to return to the old life
Many people, having accepted their own decision to part with the past once and for all, after all, at the incident, some time was thinking about everything to return, forgetting about the resentments that occurred in the past. Yes, in real life there are many people who decided to return to the past, and they turned out to be happy again. To forget and start a new life, for this specialists are recommended to pause at least half a year, try to change life. Well, if it does not work, then it is possible to try to return everything to your olden places. But at the same time, think carefully whether it is worth it.
To forget - forward to a new life.
And if you're on full seriously tuned to start a new life, then it is worth stop doing everything that somehow connects you with the past. But remember in order for a new interesting life to bring you a sense of satisfaction and joy to leave your fears and regrets about the left behind. Remember, a certain time will be held and you will become happy again and free yourself from past offenses.
